Retail therapy

Feeling sheepish because I just ordered a ton of stuff I don't need. And don't even necessarily want! 

I don't usually do this. And I was supposed to be saving up for NAS. 

I know what I'm up to. It is getting close to the anniversary of my mum's death. 

Anyway, all of it was on sale and all of it is returnable. It could be a while before I receive most of it, with the Canadian postal strike. And by then I'll have had time to get a grip on myself. 

Copying LisaP on the Kenzie tank (though it will not suit me as well).

Got the earrings today and will return; they don't look good on me.

The BR sequin culottes are not returnable -- a $26 wild card. Fortunately they fit and seem like they might add a fun element to my small dressy capsule. 

I couldn't resist trying an Equipment silk shirtdress for $100. CoH jeans on clearance -- if the fabrication is right they will make me happy. And the shirt is a top pick and a good replacement for my old pale chambray shirt which doesn't flatter me any more with my grey hair. 

Sunglasses are the main reason I ordered. I lost mine the other day in the park and I know I love Wayfarers. 

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.

39 Comments

  • Sterling replied 4 years ago

    Suz -- I understand completely. We all do that during very stressful times of our lives. Sending you my best.

  • UmmLila replied 4 years ago

    The jeans look like they will suit you -- and I suspect the culottes could be very dramatic. But yeah, retail therapy helps with lots of stuff. And so does returns therapy. Sometimes the returns therapy feels even better.

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Haha, you're so right, Lisa. Well, at least one is a return so that's a bit of money coming back. Ha!

    Thanks, Sterling. It helps to know I'm not alone. 

  • Amy replied 4 years ago

    Aww, Suz, losing a parent is a very hard thing :( I understand retail therapy. Every time I end up working ridiculous amounts of overtime, 15-18 hour days, I start to get depressed and my one outlet seems to be internet shopping. One time, I bought at least half a dozen pairs of shoes. At least I did it through Zappos, which has a good return policy. This spring, I bought a ton of kitchen stuff (pots and pans, cutting boards, weird gadgets that might not even have names) and subscribed to a wine club...I can't even drink the wine as fast as they ship it to me, lol. So, bottom line, you are not alone.

    It's good that it's returnable so you don't have to stress out about it. They all look like very nice things. I can totally see you wearing the watch, glasses and button down shirt. I haven't been around enough recently to give you any feedback about the others. Just be patient and loving with yoruself. ((hugs))

  • replied 4 years ago

    Oh dear.  But I so get this. I am somewhat surprised at the wild variety here - in a good way though.  Who has even heard of sequin culottes?  I bet you'll look like a million bucks in them. And what the heck do you mean the Kensie top won't suit you? You are half the size I am - it can't look anything but awesome on you! I'm barely getting away with it as it is.  

    And I absolutely agree with returns therapy. There is something perversely nice about toting up the dollars going back into your bank account after a bunch of rogue purchases  returned.  You didn't mention the watch - it's gorgeous!!  I hope the shirt dress is good - it looks so short , but then again, the model is probably 5'10'..... 

  • replied 4 years ago

    *changes screen on computer to immediately sign up for a wine club*  

  • replied 4 years ago

    I am keen to see the equipment shirt dress. I like the idea that you can dress it up or down with footwear. Silk is so nice in the summer.
    Hugs to you.

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Hahaha, I know. I was just thinking....WINE CLUB. Why haven't I thought of that? 

    Amy, thanks for the commiseration and the great idea! 

    I'm not sure I look like a million bucks in the culottes, Lisa. I feel sort of like a plump cloven mermaid.

    They fit, though truth be told are a wee bit short in the rise. Still. For that price, it's a worthwhile experiment. The quality is great because they are BR Monogram. They're heavy, so suitable for fall/ winter/ early spring wear more than summer. Which suits me fine, since at the moment I have far more in my summer dressy capsule than I do in my winter capsule. I figure it might be fun to pair them with denim, or with a leather jacket, or more conventionally with a simple pullover of some kind. Haven't quite worked out the footwear. 

    The Kenzie top has too open a neckline for me. It might work though, depending on other factors. Worth a try since it is returnable. I was hoping to wear it with my grey VC tube skirt and white linen pants or jeans. 

    My hope for the shirt dress is that it will be longer on me than on the model, or that (imagine this!) I can wear as a tunic. The fact that I never wear tunics because I hate how they look on me is another matter entirely. In my fantasy life, I look great in tunics. :)

  • Jenn replied 4 years ago

    Hahaha! I've spent the last couple of weeks receiving random packages from the few days in mid-June when my husband was out of town on a business trip over my mother's birthday (the first one since she passed away in April). Double whammy.

    I suppose there are better vents for that sort of stress, but there are also worse ones, and I see nothing ridiculously outlandish here. And LisaP is right, there's something to be said for returns therapy.

  • Gigi replied 4 years ago

    Those culottes look like fun and can maybe cheer you up during this sad time. I do retail therapy myself too. Quite honestly, it's probably one of the healthier ways to deal with sad stuff. As long as we use it as a supplement and not to completely avoid something, I think it is OK. :)

  • Peri replied 4 years ago

    I bet the dress will be great on you. It looks very Suz. I guess I think there are worse ways to deal. Your purchases look reasonable and we know your resolve will triumph if they aren't the best. Shopping still isn't fun for me, so I don't tend to shop for clothes to feel better. But if you could see my makeup drawer you would know who else has been doing a little mood boosting in recent weeks. 

  • Nishaa replied 4 years ago

    Ok, I'm happy for myself. Thank you, Suz.
    I'm not alone in buying 4 pairs of footwear at one go...( though now I see, Amy has broken my record) along with getting a bunch of stuff, not needed, mainly earrings, coz I was pissed off and needed ventilation.
    And amongst which was a 4" plus stiletoes, bronze strappy, that I still haven't worn. It's my fantasy life style, I never got the opportunity. And it's way past its return date.
    I agree with Jenn, there are better ways to handle it and then there are worse. I believe Budhha said that Moderation was the key.

    Your culottes look good, watch even better.. But I love your chambray shirt. Do let us know how that turns out.

  • Runcarla replied 4 years ago

    LOL! Sign me up for the wine club too! Brilliant!

    Yup, did a bout of retail therapy myself when DH was away and the plaguey rabbits ate my Mother's Day rose bush. :-( Ended up with the 3 shirt dress/tunics and a swingy tank top. There was a 30 day return window, but the purchases worked great and are in heavy summer rotation, so no regrets.

  • Angie replied 4 years ago

    (((hugs)))). I vote why not! We all need a little out of control retail therapy from time to time. Gets rid of cobwebs. I trust you'll make savvy decisions in your dressing room at home, Suz. Cuppa tea with a slice of cake are in order.

    Btw, I have the denim shirt and Iove it. It's very roomy. Great shade of denim.

  • Lyn D. replied 4 years ago

    Lisap :) :)
    I have absolutely nothing to 'wine' about yet still am spending at a rate of knots this year!
    All these have definite potential Suz so no harm done.
    I look forward to your future pics, and am sending hugs to you for the next little while ahead.

  • Brooklyn replied 4 years ago

    I say why not too. We all need a little retail therapy from time to time. And they look like good choices. Chocolate and music are good therapy too.

  • Vicki replied 4 years ago

    Well, I just read through this list, and it all makes sense to me.  First, I'm sending you a huge virtual hug as you think about your mum.

    We all go through these frenzies, when we find what we need to fill wardrobe holes, wild cards and replacements.

    I think you're going to have fun figuring out what stays and what goes and I consider this fun therapy.  Love the culottes and so happy they worked out for you.  I can already visualize your WIW with the Equipment shirtdress and how interesting that the deeper denim shirt works better with you now and you "see" this ahead of time and are shopping accordingly.

    Honestly, everything assembled here looks like it was meant for you.  Well, of course, it was hand-picked by you! 

  • Barbara Diane replied 4 years ago

    I'm impressed that you figured out what sent you shopping. It works since you have time to decide in the privacy of your own home what to keep and what to return.
    Isn't it funny how returns feel like found money.

    Sending you hugs. 

  • Maneera replied 4 years ago

    Love the denim pieces. They'll look fab on you! And I'm glad to hear that the sequined culottes look good!!!!

    Can't wait to see pics of you modeling your new loot. I love retail therapy and indulge VERY often (perhaps I need regular therapy to figure out why!). It always perks me up...even if I just return things! So I'm sure it'll do you good right now too. <<<HUGS>>>

    Now I definitely need to join a wine club. Pronto!!!

  • replied 4 years ago

    I've been there quite a few times, you're not alone by a mile. Lately it seems you might be a smidge down on yourself and without reason. I think you always wear things beautifully and more importantly, think your sweet spirit shines through. There's nothing to second guess about yourself, you're lovely and I can't imagine the earrings looking bad on you!

  • Sterling replied 4 years ago

    Suz -- I don't like tunics either because they don't seem to look good on me.  Do you think we just haven't found the right length?  I hesitate to experiment with this because every tunic I have ever purchases ended up an orphan.  

  • Style Fan replied 4 years ago

    It is a difficult time of year for you so why not.  I am a big fan of retail therapy.  I like all of your therapy purchases.  Also you have new hair.  So there is that to consider.
    I am very interested to see the BR culottes.  What a great idea for a dressy evening.  And then to wear them with a denim shirt and the new earrings.

  • shevia replied 4 years ago

    Totally agree that this is one of the better ways is dealing with stress, and the return option adds. I love the sequin culottes for you by the way!

  • Elizabeth P replied 4 years ago

    OK, I'm taking this on as a challenge :)
    and subscribed to a wine club...I can't even drink the wine as fast as they ship it to me,

    This doesn't look over the top at all Suz, and I'm sure you'll be smart about making k/r decisions with it all.  Those culottes look cool, I'd paused at them myself but couldn't quite figure out if I'd ever wear them.  Totally laughing at your mermaid description.

    I have also added that Kenzie tank to my "bag" at the Bay.  Thanks a lot.  Can you (or Lisa) tell me... it says the colour is grey, but it looks like white over a black and white base.  So is it actually grey, or does it just read grey because of the black/white mix?

    Big cyber hugs to you as you wade your way though this difficult time.

  • krishnidoux replied 4 years ago

    Big hugs to you! I am so sorry you are feeling sad. You have such admirable introspection skills. I think you need a little TLC! About the culottes: have them altered! Sometimes a small adjustment is all it takes to transform the garment. 

    Can't wait to see you in that shirt dress. 

    Why do you not like yourself in tunics? This is worth exploring IMO. There must be a very practical reason. Is it a question of style or of proportion? Is it the collar? Is it due to the style of footwear you feel you must wear with a tunic?  Have you tried belting them? Pairing them with extra-cropped jackets? Have you tried them in various weights of fabrics? If what bothers you is the volume, then something thinner and more silhouette draping might work better. 

    Should the sunglasses not do, I suggest also taking a look at those sold at Costco (they carry Raybans too). I am lusting after a pair there but find paying 100$ for sunglasses too much. There are other less expensive ones too. 

  • Staysfit replied 4 years ago

    XO to you Suz! My best friend died from a brain tumor three years ago, then my dear brother-in-law's life ended unexpectedly early 2.5 years ago, followed by the loss of four family members last year, my half sister, my favorite uncle, my step father and then my mother-in -law. Strangely, I think the most devastating loss was my friend. My closet ballooned to the unmanageable size it was when I first started posting here on YLF. I'm truly the queen of retail therapy. It's been a helpful distraction though, because it's been a lot of loss in a short time.

    Personally I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you understand what you're doing, and you're not breaking your budget. My big wardrobe remake became a very cathartic focus for my energy. I'm happy with the result, and I sometimes imagine my best friend, who was super practical, and very down to earth, teasingly lecturing me with disapproval for all the waste. However, I also imagine her being happy for me that I finally decided to do something for myself instead of always working long hours, doing for others, and forgoing for myself. I did it in a big way, but I was frugal (if that's the word) for the majority of my life. I have learned from experience, YOLO! :-)

  • skylurker replied 4 years ago

    so you're attracted to b&w, dark blue and silver...it should work well with your hair.

    I take fashion as anti depressant all the time.

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Fashion as anti-depressant. I love it. Thanks, Isabelle. It works pretty well, along with exercise, fresh air..and the right amounts of wine! 

    Thank you all for your sympathy and understanding. I hope Mr. Suz takes a philosophical approach to the packages that may begin arriving in the next few days (barring Canada Post mishaps, that is...)

    Staysfit, I now feel perfectly justified because I have a genuine medical prescription for my own choice of therapy!! :) You did amazing things with your closet in the wake of grief and I think it is actually a constructive act and a creative, life-affirming one. 

    Krish and Sterling, re tunics. I think the problem for me is of proportion. I have experimented with length, but still come up frustrated with the look. In theory, it could be a good one for my general figure type. But in reality, I don't find tunics flattering on me. Body type modifiers help to explain. First (and probably most important) -- I am slightly short-legged, but in particular, I am short in the calf. Meanwhile, I'm longer in the thigh and rise. A tunic seems to emphasize this (even with heels), making me feel more short-legged.  It also tends to shine a big light at my largest part -- thighs. Sometimes the wrong cut won't skim properly over that area. If fabrications are incompatible, it also sticks to my rear end or thighs as I move. Finally, I find it tricky to get the right toppers for tunics and in my climate I tend to need a topper throughout all seasons but summer. 

    Add to this: I don't like wearing leggings because I dislike the way they feel and dislike how they look on me. And I dislike wearing jeans with lightweight tops "out" because I feel the bumps of the zipper etc. show and feel bulky in the mid section. (My small bust probably plays a role here. My stomach area feels as if it is sticking out further. That isn't strictly speaking true, but that's how it feels.) Last year, I got a very slim pair of more structured ponte-type pants to wear with tunics -- and I still didn't like the look or feel of them on me! In the end, I think I just need to acknowledge it's a look I have to love on others. But I'll continue to experiment every now and again in case my eye or feelings adjust or in case manufacturers make tweaks that happen to work for me. 

    Elizabeth, the culottes are definitely a wild card, but I'm okay with spending the equivalent of a Vintages bottle of wine on them ($26) -- I figure they will allow me to experiment a bit. Mind you, I could also use the wine, so the club should come in handy! 

    I can't answer yet about the top but I think it is black and white. 

    Shevia, Style Fan, Jen, Maneera, Barbara Diane, Brooklyn, Lyn, Angie, thank you for the votes of confidence. :) 

    Skylurker and Vicki -- yes, the palette seems to be changing a bit or adapting...although it is a bit early to tell for sure if that will last. But on the whole I am finding that pastels don't work. They never really did, except for chambray blue -- but even light chambray is sort of meh on me now -- I fade away in it. I seem to require more contrast. 

    Angie, yes, I saw you had the denim shirt in your closet and knew it was a top pick, so I figured it was a good bet. I think it will be a great replacement/ upgrade to my 3 year old Halogen chambray. 

    Carla, yours was the best, most educated retail therapy ever -- you got workhorses!! Every item is a winner. 

    Nishaa, earrings seem like a very smart way to do retail therapy...a small expense (usually) but a big impact, and you can hide the evidence easily if needed! 

    Peri, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through your own woes. I know your makeup drawer must be a visual feast of happy colours. That must be soothing. 

    Gigi, thank you for the support and commiseration. 

    Jenn, really sorry to hear you have also been going through rough times but glad to know I'm not alone. 

  • dakotacheryl replied 4 years ago

    Hugs Suz... I passed the first Anniversary of my Mom's death in March feeling very blue and a little angry that my sister seemed to not even remember...maybe the fact that I was the one holding her hand and kissing her face as she passed while my sister was several states away makes the difference.

    Would your SE Okalas look good with those cool sequined culottes?

  • viva replied 4 years ago

    I'm thinking of you, Suz. My mum is here with me this week, and as always it is an extraordinary, bizarre, and wonderful time. She is both so my mother and so not-my-mother, given her continuing journey down the dementia path. But since both she and my dad are now much closer to 90 than 80, I can't take anything for granted. This morning I woke up wondering if one of them had died in the night. It's weird, the thoughts that come. Anyway, we do what we can and what we must.

    As for your recent shopping, I am most impressed by what a balanced and varied haul it is! Such a fab array -- and all so perfectly curated for your new hair color and your new vibe. Your gorgeous edgy sister made the choices, I presume? I can't wait to see pictures. :)

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Oh, Cheryl -- thank you. Yes, the whole family thing can be complicated, can't it. So sorry you had to deal with that in addition to the sadness. 

    Yes, the Okalas look great with the culottes if I want to wear in warmer weather -- but I am thinking of shoes for more wintery days. I don't wear the Okalas with hose, really. 

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Ha, Vivian, I love you. 

    Hang in there with the parentals!!  It is indeed a strange and beautiful world with them as they age. 

  • viva replied 4 years ago

    BTW, I had my own moment of retail therapy this morning. I was/am so committed to saving for NAS that I returned the second coverup (to save $23 for NAS!) but then, this morning, after having that weird parental death thought, I ordered that BR shirt Angie posted about ($88) without hesitation. That's some kind of strange math.

  • Suz replied 4 years ago

    Well, the top is gorgeous and would be extraordinary on you. And since it is poly, and perfectly washable, you can use it as a cover up too!!  :) 

    How's that for girl math? 

  • replied 4 years ago

    Oh, Suz, I can imagine what a difficult time it is for you. Nothing wrong with a bit of retail therapy at such times to help see you through.

    I really like the items you're considering keeping. I think the sparkly culottes are great! Love the layered tank too.

  • Eliza replied 4 years ago

    Thinking of you, Suz. These anniversaries bring it all back and if retail therapy is part of how it goes, so be it.

    I like your choices. Sequined culottes, why not? The dress looks like a good contender and the denim shirt is a no brainer.

    No worries. You haven't gone too far. 

  • texstyle replied 4 years ago

    Retail therapy is sometimes just what is needed - and it looks like some good picks you made.

  • replied 4 years ago

    Elizabeth - the top is absolutely black and white. Nothing grey about it or on it or in it :)  

    Vivian - I know all about that dying in the middle of the night thought .  It's bizarre, isn't it?  I too have the BR shirt in my cart - :)  

  • Chris987 replied 4 years ago

    Suz and others, my sympathies on your losses...it's never easy and it never really goes away no matter how many years pass. DH has a martini every year on the anniversary of his dad's passing. That was h is dad's favorite drink and he makes it with the same ingredients using his dad's little jigger/ice smasher tool.  

    Let me chime in and say I view retail therapy as a serious and worthy type of therapy. Really, it is. It makes us feel better and as long as you are keeping an eye on your budget it does absolutely no harm. The return-ability quotient adds an extra safety valve :-) 

    Suz I have to say your analysis skills around what you like and don't like to wear are really awesome. I know you've been on this YLF journey for a while but it's still very impressive. You got yourself a bunch of really great pieces! Looking forward to seeing what you decide to keep.

    Wine club LOL that's one that does not tempt me...I love good wine but don't feel all that great if I drink it every night.

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