"Style is character:" Discuss (Long)

Yes, I've been reading Joan Didion. ;) 

But I've also been thinking about style personae and descriptors, partly for selfish reasons (I was feeling I'd outgrown the "urban prince" moniker) and partly because it's that time of year when we assess other forum members have also been talking about them. 

Angie's current descriptor is "Urban Pretty." At first that might seem like a contradiction. But "urban" does not have to mean gritty and RATE. Here, it encapsulates the sophistication, modernity, and graphic crispness and quickness that is her style; "pretty" describes the softness, femininity, lightness, brightness, and freshness that is an equal part of the overall impression she creates. 

And then there is Staysfit, whose descriptor is "Genuine Composed." "Genuine" speaks to the practical, comfortable, and approachable aspects of her look; "composed" refers to her organization, coherence, and thoughtfulness. 

Here's the thing -- these labels are pretty darned good descriptions of their characters as well as the "surface." I haven't met Staysfit in person but I have enough evidence from her forum participation that she is extremely thoughtful. She is open without being an over-sharer, highly organized, and she labours against sometimes considerable personal odds, yet maintains an enviable serenity, and yes, composure. 

Angie, meanwhile, is vivid, curious, no-nonsense, and exceptionally smart, yet also warm, light, (i.e. not somber), youthfully energetic, and fresh as a spring flower. 

When I asked for suggestions for a new style moniker for myself, I was extremely flattered when Angie offered up "Relaxed Radiance," but at first I wasn't sure it fit. Partly that's because these style descriptors or statements seem more static to me than the style personae, which are characters, who can act, if you see what I am saying...it's the difference between an adjective (e.g. "pretty")  and a noun (e.g. " princess"). I still find that is true. It's easier to ask oneself, in a store, "Is this what an urban prince would wear?"  and then visualize it, than it is to ask "Is this what an urban pretty would wear?" What's "an" urban pretty? It doesn't make sense. 

At the same time, the more I thought about this, the more I thought that the statement or descriptor may get at something even deeper. 

Am I "relaxed" in real life? Um...no. I definitely get stressed out! But Mr. Suz has often told me that the world would never know that --  it's not that I deliberately try to hide it, but it rarely shows on the outside. And I am fortunate that even though I have experienced serious bouts of anxiety in my life, it is not a constant companion for me, as I know it is for many others.

Anyway, as far as style is concerned, "relaxed" could refer to the generally casual nature of my clothes. This arises from real life circumstance. I work from home and live in a small, student-oriented city. But believe it or not, I am usually more "dressed up" than the people around me. The thing is, I'm okay with that. I'm the kind of person who will get down on the floor with the kids even if I'm wearing a dress; I'll wear a silk blouse and tailored jacket, but hop up on and sit on a desktop to give my lecture if I'm teaching just as easily as if I were wearing a hoodie.  This in itself speaks to a certain level of relaxation that goes beyond casual clothing, I think. Maybe it's about being okay with who I am. The grey hair is another indicator. I am who I am. I don't stand on ceremony. I like to dress up, but I'm not stuck up. 

As for "radiance" -- that is of course an extremely flattering descriptor and I'm less able to judge it in relation to myself. I know I'm blessed with a big smile, though, and I also have metallic hair (and often, metallic shod feet) so there's always an element of shine. I am not sure I can parse out the deeper implications of this. 

Moving on from me, me, me  ;)  all of  these style statements or descriptors involve an inherent tension or hint of juxtaposition. "Urban" and "Pretty" don't immediately seem like comfortable companions -- but it's in the disjunct that the style emerges. Ditto for "Genuine" and "Composed," which if you think of it is almost an oxymoron. (Genuine being "natural" and composed being a quality of art.) "Relaxed" and "Radiant" are perhaps less obviously in tension but I think it's still there...relaxed seems to imply a softness? or calm? and radiance is vivid and energetic. 

Anyway. This has become long. If you read this far, thank you for indulging me! And I would love to know your own renewed style descriptors or your style personae, if you have them! And I'd love to know if you think these give you insight into who you are as a person as well as how you dress. 

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.

57 Comments

  • Alassë replied 7 years ago

    I enjoyed reading. :)

  • merwoman replied 7 years ago

    Much food for thought here Suz!
    While I haven' paid too much attention to my own style moniker, I do think that relaxed radiance is a great one for you.
    I interpret 'relaxed' as being  approachable, not so formal, but not overly casual
    Radiance - you simply exude health and vitality, and joy of life. Perfect fit.
    Hugs to you! Sue

  • cindysmith replied 7 years ago

    This is actually pretty dang wise.

    I don't know what my style descriptors would be. Everyone here has such refined descriptors, and my ideal would be "Michonne and Daryl Dixon had a baby" ("the walking dead" reference)

    Because Michonne wears some awesome clothes and Daryl Dixon generally looks pretty filthy and outta control and that's my ideal but that only works after the zombie apocalypse, right?

    but I don't know how to encapsulate my ideal in a 2 word descriptor of any kind. Maybe "warrior princess", but princess feels a bit too precious, and substituting "queen" still implies an air of refinement that I don't necessarily strive for in clothes/style. I feel much more casual and "in the fray" than that. Like, I don't wanna BE dirty, I just don't mind if my clothes look dirty and my hair looks extremely tousled (which happens a lot when trying to homestead LOL)

    Living here in the middle of nowhere with a DH that hunts and uses every part of the animal he can; starting a garden; trying to beat back the wilderness just enough to have room to let the dogs play; and the fear/dread I've felt since the election have all combined to make my worldview and style goals a lot darker. Not without hope, just darker. Not without meaningful relationships, just fewer and tighter ones.

    So you're definitely on to something with style descriptors being intertwined with actual personality. I'm interested to see what others have to say about their descriptors and personalities.

    And thank you to all you fabbers who are part of the hope I see in the world. I see a lot of people supporting each other on here, and that's the world i want to live in, no matter how bleak the political and economic landscape feels at the moment

    Edit: fixed a word that autocorrect messed up

  • Runcarla replied 7 years ago

    I get it. Brave of you to be willing to change and relinquish such a great descriptor as Urban Prince. Funny to be talking about maturity in one's 50's, but maybe there is something there too? Significant is a willingness to re-explore or even embrace where you've been in the past, but do it in a way that is modern and relevant and not necessarily trend driven when going forward.

    Running around in my mind is what impact recent (non fashion) world events have on the way I want to present/insulate myself with what I choose to wear.

    Does this make sense?

  • Meredith replied 7 years ago

    Suz, this is a fascinating post! I've never pinned down style descriptors for myself. I "tried on" a descriptor last spring, Romantic Explorer, and built a little mix and match capsule around that concept. It was fine for a season, but didn't really capture "me." Your observations about the relationship between style and personality and seeming contradictions prompted me to think about a way I could describe my personality in style terms. The two words that immediately came to mind (without the over analysis I've demonstrated myself capable of in my thread) were Serious and Spirited. Excuse me while I spend the rest of my day overthinking this .

  • Joy replied 7 years ago

    I enjoyed reading your thoughts and have also been thinking of my style moniker Elegant Eclectic. I don't see either term changing but must also consider my casual lifestyle going forward.
    For you I like "relaxed radiance" and your thoughts. When shopping could you ask a different question like " Does this piece portray relaxed radiance?"

  • replied 7 years ago

    I think of you as Spritely and also extremely kind and warm hearted.
    I've thought about whether our moniker should reflect our personality: my conclusion is "yes". But of course, you can't summarize your entire personality in your moniker and your clothes.

    I think the "relaxed radiance" is appealing mostly because of the alliteration. It might not be quite right for you.

    I don't think of your style as relaxed. I think of it as dressy and polished. In your comments on Meredith's thread, you mentioned that "rugged weatherproof footwear" was one of your essentials, but you've chosen some of the most polished rugged footwear for yourself.

    You might have a relaxed personality--it is not the first thing that comes to mind when I read your posts.

    I do think of you as a radiant YLFer. You really are a strong spirit here.

  • LaPed replied 7 years ago

    I think you've hit on why two-word monikers are so useful: they allow us to identify a tension or contrast at the core of our style. It's the seemingly contradictory element that makes each person's style unique.

    I'm no good at style persona -- I think maybe I wear too many hats these days, or just don't like to limit my potential. Like, how can I choose between my sporty side and my arty side, my utilitarian side and my quirky side; do I have to privilege one over the others?  

    My style descriptors at the moment -- "Structured Simplicity" function more as reminders for myself than as a full-fledged aspirational statement. "Simplicity" reminds me that I'm happiest right now when I dial back my quirky/twee tendencies. "Structured" reminds me that I work better if I wear clothes that allow me to take myself seriously, and that feel substantial and reliable, clothes I can take risks in and get messy in, clothes that I can trust. I really want to get to that place where I'm always wearing "forgettable" outfits -- clothes that get out of the way and let me go about the business of living. A means to an end, not an end in themselves. 

    PS -- Didion is a huge icon for me. More than any other writer, she helped me make sense of the western half of the US while I was living in Las Vegas (especially her early novels, Run River and Play It as It Lays). Blue Nights and Magical Thinking helped me make it through a really painful, arduous recovery after an emergency lifesaving surgery. And Political Fictions and Where I Was From have been really helpful to me this past electoral cycle.

  • cindysmith replied 7 years ago

    Runcarla, yes, you make sense. World events have definitely shaped my fashion sense somewhat recently. I've started sliding down further into my dystopian sensibilities. If that makes sense.

  • Janet replied 7 years ago

    Very interesting and perceptive thoughts, Suz. I can see what you mean.

    I will have to let this percolate in my brain as I unpack from our vacation (both literally and mentally). As I mentioned elsewhere, I'm feeling a bit at odds these days. Vacation was great, but I was barely home a day before the unease that started around the election settled back down on me. When I feel like everything is out of my control, I need things to focus on that feel controllable, and perhaps a little closet editing and style analysis is not a bad distraction for me right now. ;-)

    I've been operating under a loose style definition of "refined rock'n'roll" for a while, and it suits me but it also feels a little narrow, especially in the perspective you've brought up in this thread. Clearly there is more to me than that. ;-) And as much as I love a bit of rock style in my look, I'm not sure I pull that off every day. "Eclectic" is somewhere in my style but doesn't feel right as a moniker, and the same goes for "creative" or "arty." Hmm. Thanks for the food for thought.

  • Liz replied 7 years ago

    One of the things I always notice in the "best outfits of the year" summary thread, is that every poster has a style, whether named or not, and who she is forms a big part of that style. It's abundantly evident from her set of photographs. So in that sense, I think it's impossible to separate personality from style.

    I'm not sure the personal characteristics need to be named in the style moniker -- only if they actually help a person make style choices.

    I'm another who doesn't see your style as relaxed. Relaxed as opposed to stiff, yes. I think I'd see your style more like your writing (you're an author and poet, yes?). A tremendous amount of thought and intention goes in behind the scenes to create a simple, "relaxed" poem. The process itself is intense, but hidden.

  • JAileen replied 7 years ago

    As Smittie said, you are very kind hearted. And generous. I always appreciate your thoughtful posts. But, I personally don't understand the moniker thing at all. It might have been you who said my style seemed to be modern classic, I think. I'd add a western bent to it, probably. But beyond that I look for clothes that are in my colors, flatter my pear shape, are practical, well priced, and of course, comfortable. And not frilly! Maybe I need to start a thread where people could suggest something. I don't know if it would make any difference, though. I don't know how I would use it.

  • Maneera replied 7 years ago

    I enjoyed reading this post and found myself nodding along.

    I remember starting out on YLF by describing my style 'Comfortably Dressy'. My style has evolved a lot since then. Toronto Girl suggested the moniker 'Sophisticated Ingenue' when I raised similar questions about my style last year ---- another oxymoron.

    I like Relaxed Radiance for you. I think there's a relaxed elegance, a sense of 'being comfortable' in everything you wear. I do agree - even your casual style is on the dressy side, but you look completely at-ease in it. Nothing you wear looks 'forced' or like you 'tried too hard', so relaxed just fits.

    Radiance - well you are radiant. You have a healthy, youthful & energetic radiance about you, for sure.

    But can you look at a piece of clothing and decide 'Does this fit in with my relaxed radiance moniker'? I'm not so sure!

    When I think of your style (or character), the following words come to mind:

    Polished
    Authentic
    Feminine
    Alluring
    Effortless

    Hope that helps!

  • Isabel replied 7 years ago

    suze, this was a fascinating post ! Thank you. It reminded me of a book I read many years ago : Open and Clothed by Andrea Siegal. I swear you must be her.

    https://www.amazon.com/Open-Cl.....0967275008

    This is a long and dense read. And worth it. IMO, Andrea really addresses much of what yo are talking about. From the aspect of being CLOTHED. I see that differently from DRESSING. ( Though Andrea might not, that is how I came away from the book .) To me there is a much deeper connection to clothing oneself...it seems more personal and intimate to me. 

    This stuff fascinates me because most of us spend our lives getting dressed and really thinking of nothing more than "do I like this?", does it look good?"   There are fewer, like you, that take it to a deeply philosophical ( IMO ) level of who we are, right down to our souls. Aristotle would have LOVED it.

    I have tried descriptors. They just don't really connect for me. I try to envision what it would mean. But it just did't work. I think I get too semantic and bogged down.

  • Jenn replied 7 years ago

    You write the most thought-provoking posts, Suz! When I think of your personality here on the forum, the first word that comes to mind is "supportive." I don't suppose you'd want that as a style descriptor, though, unless your primary goals involve Spanx and orthotics.  :P

    I do understand why Angie uses the term "radiance," because you choose clothing that allows your personality to shine through. You don't hide in your wardrobe...it complements the person you are and the tasks you undertake each day. "Authentic" and "unaffected" might also be words I'd use. What about "unaffected radiance"?

    As for me, I keep coming back to "earthy urban." Most people see "boho" in my style and suggest that as a descriptor, but I find that, even though I like bohemian brands and designers, when I use that as a guideline, I go too far for my own comfort and start to feel like I'm in costume. I think the outfits I ended up choosing for my 2016 favorites reflect the "earthy urban" aesthetic fairly well.

    earthy - relaxed style, natural fibers, muted colors, plenty of neutrals
    urban - a bit of edge, ensembles appropriate for urban environments

  • replied 7 years ago

    Sigh.  I understand your train of thought and it makes perfect sense.  Angie's and Staysfit's style descriptors do fit them perfectly.  And I like the idea of the style descriptor speaking to character.  Perhaps that is the missing element that has always eluded me?  I personally have played with "practical minimalist" and "pragmatic minimalist." 

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Thank you all for indulging me and weighing in with thoughts here. It is interesting and helpful. 

    Maneera, that is a great list of adjectives, thanks. And you've hit on the problem I was struggling with. It's hard to imagine asking myself "does this item embody relaxed radiance"? Because it's the sum of the parts that does that -- it won't work item by item. (Except maybe for a pair of pewter sandals or something, LOL.) 

    Sophisticated Ingenue is a good one for you but I feel as if you have evolved since then -- the sporty side has come out to play. Yet somehow it wouldn't seem right to emphasize that in the descriptor. Because it's more a style thing than a feature of your character -- you'er not off playing cricket whenever you get a chance or anything like that. Hmmm. I need to think more on that. 

    JAileen, thank you for your kind compliments. I think the core of your style is modern classic (that is also true for me, by the way). I like your addition of a western wing, so to speak -- it's true. Maybe you are a Desert Gentlewoman or something like that? 

    Liz, thank you. It does seem as if people put a different meaning to the term "relaxed." Is it an opposition to "composed," or can a relaxed style be "considered" and composed and  a bit on the dressier side? Of course whether one sees my style as casual probably depends on how casual she is in her own life, if you know what I am saying. My "casual" is definitely dressier than some, and not as dressy as others. I think what you and Smittie are probably getting at is that my style tends to be on the "polished" side even if casual. That is absolutely true. Also, I agree with you 100% about writing -- a whole lot goes on behind the scenes to make it come across as "easy." That is true of style as well -- I've been studying it for years now and still don't feel like an expert. 

    Janet, I agree that your moniker doesn't do you full justice, somehow, although it is a pretty good one, and I like the juxtaposition (again, that tension) between "refined" and "rock'n roll." It's the tension that seems to get at something important and real that maybe can't be put into words very well yet does seem to describe you more than either word on its own. 

    La Ped -- that is so interesting about Didion's influence on you. I confess that I have not read her novels. I'm re-reading the essays and some of the criticism now and intend to tackle the novels next. As for "structured simplicity" this makes sense to me and fits with the outfits you have shown us. 

    Smittie, you're right that I don't really have a relaxed personality if what is meant by that is "laid back." I'm definitely not that. I'm not as controlling as the biggest control freak, but I'm pretty organized, structured, and focused. And thank you for the lovely compliments. 

    Joy, it is true that going forward, you'll be thinking how to combine "elegance" with a more casual lifestyle. I cannot wait to see where this goes! But it really would be hard to to imagine a better moniker for you. 

    Meredith, "serious" and "spirited" are really nicely juxtaposed. And I can't wait to hear what you conclude after your deliberations! 

    Carla, absolutely you make sense. I do think that many of us will be re-imagining how we dress in light of recent political events. It will be fascinating to see how and to what degree this climate affects designers, both imaginatively, and practically. I have not made any decisions yet for myself but I suspect I will be shopping in a different way. 

    Cynthia, it sounds as if your style is RATE (rough around the edges) and practical ... "princess" does sound too precious. And maybe "warrior" isn't quite it. Maybe the word "guardian" could be of use? I understand the emotions. 

    Sue and Alasse -- thank you!! 

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Back for more soon -- must lunch! 

  • Isabel replied 7 years ago

    Cut myself off early...LOL....Two years ago, I decided to try the Vivienne Files Common Core wardrobe. It appealed to me for many reasons including that it was a very European way to dress. I remembered all those international meetings that I used to attend and her description brought back all the feelings and admiration I had for the way the Canadians, Brazilians and Europeans dressed. I also now have a lifestyle that lends itself more to that - SAHM. Additionally, it allowed me to do what I really loved with dressing : ACCESSORIES !!!!! YAY !

    I have also told you before, that I am not someone that craves variety in my dressing. It is just not my personality. I experimented for a while since being on YLF ( over 6 yrs ) but I never felt fully comfortable with it.

    I did, however, decide to embrace color that I LOVE.  I was shrouded in black for decades ( no exaggeration ) ! But I also become paralyzed with choice...learned that too on here.  LOL  So I gave myself a color scheme for Fall/Winter and Spring/Summer. I have my "common core" items and pieces with in a color family. My scarves add a lot of color variety and everything mixes and matches really well. I have been so content with it. Like, REALLY happy and content. Mostly, I am at peace with how I "clothe" myself.  One of the things that brings me peace about it is that I do feel closer to my upbringing and my culture. That may sound weird but I like feeling a little bit "Azorean" in how I dress. It makes me feel close to my mom and my grandmother ( who I didn't know ) but am named after.  My grandmother's family was so poor that they let another family raise her. BUT, she instilled the idea of always looking appropriate/a little nice as a sign of respect for others. She never judged others, ever. But to this day, I still have a hard time going out in sneakers for anything other than hiking.  Diane Keaton once said something along the lines of, there are good times and bad times and through it all you always have lipstick. LOL.  For me, it would be a scarf or earrings...and some neutral lipstick. hahahahaha

    Anyway, thanks for giving ME the opportunity to ramble. I have no ideas whether or not it is even relevant. ROFL

    Hugs, Suze !

  • Isabel replied 7 years ago

    Suze, this is a blog of an academic course on clothing as communication, something that has utterly confounded me my whole life.  It is from 2010 and I found it fascinating. You might too. 

    http://fashionmedium.blogspot......ation.html

  • replied 7 years ago

    Thought-provoking, Suz!  You always keep us on our toes.  I recently asked Staysfit to break down her descriptor for me so I could understand it better, in hopes that it would help me formulate something for myself, and she kindly did, most eloquently.  But I continue to resist coming up with one, fearing that I'll "pigeonhole" myself and get stuck in a rut.  I like to try on different personas, because (1) it's fun; and (2) it keeps me open to new ideas and possibilities.  Maybe my style moniker should be "Can't Commit" -- ha!  :)

  • Isabel replied 7 years ago

    Xtabay...."happy chameleon"    : ) 

  • replied 7 years ago

    Isabel -- perfect, thanks!  :)

  • Angie replied 7 years ago

    As Arnie said....I'll be back.....but QUICKLY Suz, why I love Relaxed Radiance for you. 

    • your lifestyle is casual, hence relaxed. 
    • despite you not being a "relaxed person" as you describe yourself, your personality has a very relaxing effect on those around you. Your wisdom, kindness, intelligence, loyalty and enormous empathy for others is like the best soothing balm on the planet. 
    • You are VERY RADIANT. Your warmth, sparkly eyes, smiley face, immense compassion, and positive attitude make you radiate from within. You radiate energy like the sun while we soak it up and want more. You shine very brightly, sister! 
    • Your outfits radiate this same absolutely authentic and wholesome energy. It's "a goodness" that you spread like osmosis through your character and your outfits. The way you dress and the way you are puts a smile on people's faces. It's one of your gifts. (And your new grey hair is very shiny and healthy too).

    Thank you for the awfully kind words. MY GOODNESS. I'm blushing.

    And remember ladies, to not take this all tooooo seriously. Your style moniker - despite being quite helpful - is all in good fun, and can be changed at any time. 

  • replied 7 years ago

    Nice writerly essay, Suz, and interesting hypothesis re: opposing monikers. I have given no thought whatsoever to style names for myself ; it's not something that has any meaning for me.  I am not analytical about dressing, which is no secret .  I have no input as to what would work for you either , but I did enjoy this piece. Thanks for taking the time to put it together and for sharing it.  

  • Style Fan replied 7 years ago

    Very thought provoking Suz.  I am still struggling with my style moniker.  I agree with all that Angie has written.  You come across as a very kind and empathic person.  That is very relaxing. 

    I do wonder if the current political climate will impact how we dress.  Time to be creative.   

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Thank you again so much! Angie, I could have said a lot more kind words to you. You deserve them. In fact, everything you said to me about radiance applies 300% to you and anyone who has met you in real life knows it! 

    I really like what you said about "relaxed" -- maybe it's not me who is relaxed but my effect on others. (How lovely if that is true. I don't think it is always true, IRL, but I hope it is true at least some of the time.) 

    Xtbay, I love what Isabel suggested: Happy Chameleon!! Another word that comes to mind is eclectic. You don't have to pin down a style persona -- as Angie says, it's all fun -- and it can change and evolve, as hers has, and mine has, and lots of other people's have. Probably it has to change and evolve! Angie has a great post in the archives about multiple style personas. 

    Isabel, thank you so much for the book recommendation and the link and also for your thoughts (and so great to see you again!) I love that story about how your current style makes you feel connected to your roots and the matrilineal line. That is so comforting and authentic. I have been mulling about a descriptor for you that includes that. I want to say that there is something solidly and piercingly intelligent in your presence. Somehow that would have to figure into any descriptor. Also practical...but feminine. Hmmm. 

    Sterling, those words do describe your current or maybe your past style but seem to leave something crucial out. One of the qualities that shines through on this forum at least is your persistence. You don't give up. Once you have a question in mind you keep on pursuing answers. It's a very important personal gift that not everyone shares. Also, you are kind to others. Of course we can't get everything about our style in our monikers but it feels like this description only captures the very surface and doesn't get inside the "why" you might be practical or pragmatic and minimalist. Hmmmm.

    Jenn, I laughed out loud about having "supportive" in my style descriptor -- you're so right. Spanx and orthotics. Anyway, you are super kind. Thank you. And I LOVE "earthy urban" for you -- it totally makes sense to me.  

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Lisa, thank you! Your intuitions are 100 times more accurate than most people's point by point analysis and that's why you always look amazing! 

    Thank you, Style Fan. I am thinking that for your moniker you want to include something about sophistication and maybe something about the north...Northern Sophisticate? I also see the 1960s whenever I look at you (in a good way, I mean -- I see you as embodying some of the ideals of that decade in your appearance) so maybe that is also something...

  • texstyle replied 7 years ago

    Suz- I'm not sure I have any profound suggestions - but enjoyed reading your post and the comments thus far. I do see you as polished, relaxed and radiant so I simply added one adjective to the mix and it seems to describe you more in my mind.

    One think I noticed about myself is that in winter I like a little bit more "outdoorsy" style myself - furry lined hiking boots, plaid flannel, puffy vest, etc. My hair and makeup keeps it just "pretty" enough for me.

  • replied 7 years ago

    Another thought I had:  acknowledging that we probably each have two sides (opposing , or contrasting) to our style preferences is how we maintain our originality and style integrity (ugh, I'm starting to sound academic) in a sea of chain and department store dressing options. 

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    That's really interesting, Lisa. I think it makes sense, too. It's the way we mix up what's available out there --  wearing J. Crew with Allsaints or LL Bean with Celine (well, okay, that might be a stretch but not impossible) or Ralph Lauren with Free People. Hmmm. 

    Texstyle, thank you. And yes I can see how rugged comes out to play more in colder weather. For me, too. Definitely. It's needed. 

  • deb replied 7 years ago

    Suz, your analytical posts are always a great read. It is so hard, at least for me, to put a moniker on the internal side of our dressing. The conversation here between you and Angie demonstrates this so well. Angie is able to articulate how the world sees you and you can only understand it from your innermost thoughts. Is it really possible for us to see or truly understand how others view us? I think this is why the style monikers I have tried never stuck. I need to go back and re-read this thread. Thanks again for such a great discussion.

  • cindysmith replied 7 years ago

    Suz, thank you. Guardian is a good one, and I think it fits. IRL, I'm rather guarded around new people. Here online it's so much easier to put myself out there (which is weird). Thank you for the suggestion!

    Edit: fixed something autocorrect messed up

  • Runcarla replied 7 years ago

    OK. How's this for juxtaposition: Karl Lagerfeld and Mark's Work Wearhouse!

  • Aziraphale replied 7 years ago

    Very interesting post, Suz! My first thought, on reading your closing questions, was that "urban pretty" isn't a contradiction at all. Before YLF, I felt the word "urban" implied, more than anything else, a certain level of sophistication -- the opposite of country-bumpkin innocence. "Urban" goes easily in hand with prettiness (especially a polished prettiness). However, I have come to associate "urban" with a certain gritty quality too, because of Una's invention of the term "urban warrior princess" all those years ago. I suspect I'm not the only one. :-)

    Similarly, I think one could be both genuine and composed. Genuine isn't artless; it's simply being who you are and coming across that way. "What you see is what you get". One could be naturally composed -- you know, collected and unflappable -- and also come off as very genuine. (On reflection, I wish that were my style descriptor! Mine is more like instinctive, chaotic and more than a little contrary...as you see my first impulse was to contradict you!). ;-)

  • Astrid replied 7 years ago

    It's been a while since I tried to formulate some style descriptors or a style statement. Maybe still grounded simplicity, if I had to pick one, but I don't want to pigeonhole myself like this, to be honest. Right now that doesn't seem helpful to me.

    I think that style and personality are related to a degree, but it's usually not all that straightforward and I would hesitate to break it down into a simple formula like this.

  • replied 7 years ago

    So much insight, Suz.  

  • Beth Ann replied 7 years ago

    Such a wonderfully thoughtful post!  I think I would say, "Welcoming Radiance," because you have a way of drawing people in with your appearance -- looking beautiful, but inviting others to join in on the fun.

    For me, my style rubrics (which have always worked better for me than monikers) were a part of my larger self identity. .  I find that these no longer fit, perhaps because I'm facing some difficult circumstances (no worries, nothing tragic, although the obstacles are real).  I feel a need to Restore and Recharge.  As a matter of fact, that is my new rubric!  I'm not setting the fashion world on fire, but I am wearing bits of shine, because it pleases me, color that makes me happy, and dressing in softly structured and flattering layers.  I think I might be hiding a bit in my dressing, which is not really, "me", but I sense the need to feel nurtured and protected, and perhaps that's OK for now.

  • Karie replied 7 years ago

    So thought provoking and interesting to discuss! I do not have a style moniker for myself. I tried to come up with one a few years ago but nothing seemed to fit. I feel my style can be quite contrasting. One day I might feel like a J Crew preppy girl, the next I'm wearing a feminine fit & flare dress, and the day after that I'll put on my Free People ultra-wide flared jeans. In life I can be much the same way. I like my work day to be very routine - no changes and no surprises, I'll stick to my everyday schedule, thank you - but outside of work, let's have some fun! Let's laugh it up and go ride some roller coasters, or better yet, who wants to try sky diving with me?! 

    So in my case I think style and personality are related. Serious when necessary, but a little bit quirky and a little bit fun, all mixed together!

  • LaPed replied 7 years ago

    Aziraphale, I like Chaotic Contrarian! That was me in my teens and twenties, for sure. :)

    Astrid -- I know the fear of pigeonholing! No wonder your Grounded Simplicity sounds so much like my Structured Simplicity. It's a good open framework. I think you're right as well, that there's always a lot more to people than they project via style. I'm thinking if I had to choose a persona today, it might be Secret Bad*ss. I don't need to announce my grit or daring to the whole world, just hint at it. 

    Beth Ann -- can you talk more about your rubric approach? I'm intrigued.

  • UmmLila (Lisa) replied 7 years ago

    I, like (other) Lisa, am a bit of a failure in defining my style. I suspect it's either because I love to analyze others but not myself, or because I don't want to pigeon-hole myself. Or maybe because I really want to be a superhero but that's not my environment.

    I was asked to join the board of a mental health nonprofit recently, and while having some discussions with the head of the organization, went a little bit down the Myers-Briggs road. I see through googling that this is a topic that came up on YLF many years ago. <http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....your-style> I haven't otherwise found much interesting comment otherwise on how this would reflect on one's style. But I do wonder, given my own weaselly predilections, if we (at YLF) dress to our authentic personalities, dress to our fantasies, or dress to our real life audience.

  • shedev replied 7 years ago

    Interesting discussion Suz. I think my fashion sense is somewhat related to my personality. Some years ago, Rachy gave me the moniker of Asphalt Angel. My style often combines hard edge with soft drape. My personality also has its soft and hard sides.

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Lisa, that's really interesting. 

    I'm an INFJ (with a not-too-distant T and I'm also an E-appearing I, if that makes sense; i.e. a "social I.")  People tend to think I'm an extravert when they meet me, but I need enormous amounts of alone time to recharge or I am miserable, which is why I could not continue too long as a secondary school teacher -- I adored the kids and their energy and relate well to them, but ugh...I need my space!!  

    I think I dress in all the ways you mention at different times. Mostly I dress to my authentic personality and (occasionally) specifically to please a real-life audience (like wearing a gift item with the giver, or wearing an outfit DH loves for date night). Sometimes, selectively, I dress to a kind of fantasy -- an aspirational style. I'll do this especially if I have to attend a big scary event and want to create a specific impression. It will be authentic but more tightly curated. 

    Karie, I think your style is selectively eclectic -- it's eclectic within a range. 

    Beth Ann, I'm so sorry you're facing difficulties now; please let us know if we can help at all. I do think dressing to protect ourselves is natural at such a time. I still think of you as a down-to-earth diva. Your beauty and grounded wisdom shine so obviously to all of us who know you here.

    Sterling, thank you!

    Astrid -- I go on and off about this stuff also -- I sometimes feel no need for the statement and other time I do. Perhaps it is a function of transition -- when we transition from one stage to another we may want or need it more.

    Aziriphale, you are an urban something...or maybe guerrilla pixie?  Actually, I agree absolutely that one can be urban and pretty and genuine and composed (etc.) -- it's just that it's easy on first glance to see a contradiction and in the contradiction (the crack) -- the light (or personal in personal style) gets in . 

  • Staysfit replied 7 years ago

    Suz, I am almost rendered speechless by your post! There was a process I followed to find my Style Statement. I struggled to understand the concept of Style Statements when I first started browsing on the forum. It was your recommendation that I read the Style Statement book and that finally helped me nail it down. My understanding is that Style Statement's as designed and defined in the book are two words that when correct act a bit like a personal mission statement that can be used as a compass for the style one uses to interact with the world as well as what one displays outwardly. My read of the book is that the authors think of them as useful for multiple purposes including for business. Taken directly from my notes, which I probably copied. Verbatim from the book, so the following is credited to the authors of The Style Statement, the first word of a Style Statement is the "Foundation word" which is applied to the "spirit, look, feel of something.....they work for both the material and the immaterial". The foundation word represents your core, your essential self and feels like first nature even if you resist it. It is the part of you that is most obvious and steady. The second word is the "Creative Edge Word". "This is the impression that you make. It's a powerful force word, a little goes a long way."

    I might say you are a Harmonious Storyteller. Or maybe Harmonious Radiance? I like the word Radiance for you also! I believe you bring people together in a Harmonious way. You build bridges with your warm words and I think this word could possibly work with your wardrobe as well. The difficulty with a Style Statement is it's not something someone can easily give to you. It has to feel right to you not to us.

  • unfrumped replied 7 years ago

    Such fun!
    I do like radiance.
    Or consider flipping, as Radiant _____ or more.
    I think of you as Sporty but in a dressier way. Not sure what to do with that. I think that speaks the the relaxed thing but relaxed sounds too.... relaxed whereas you would be, "not afraid to
    get movin'!
    Radiant Elegance in Motion.

  • Aziraphale replied 7 years ago

    @Suz -- Lol "guerrilla pixie"! You are funny. Actually, you may be onto something. It does sort of describe how I usually dress. Today it was a grey woolen knee-length hoody under a black leather Buffy longcoat, with fingerless gloves, cropped flares (with ragged hems, of course!) and classic black Doc Martens...I suppose it did look like I might pull an automatic rifle out from under my coat and open fire in the name of freedom. Too bad I'm so aggressively opposed to firearms!

    I like how you describe the contradiction as a crack, through which shines the light of personal style. It's very poetic. :-) 

  • Ginger replied 7 years ago

    I'm following this discussion with avid interest! Suz, as always, you so excellently analyze and and present ideas.  You really helped clarify how the style statement is more an description of personality, and how it is expresses itself.  It's not merely a summation of style.

    Staysfit, I had no idea that the two-word style statement was actually such A Thing! I'm really interested now, but also a bit daunted.  I haven't had success coming up with one at all.  That said, I've tentatively worked with "the Duchess next door."  To me it expresses the DoC's elegant, refined, and conservative style, but grounded in real life instead of fantasy, with a nod to the vintage epithet "girl next door."  I have no idea how to get that concept into two words.

  • Karie replied 7 years ago

    The Style Statement book sounds like an interesting read. When I think of my own style I probably mean "woman with multiple personalities" rather than "eclectic!" Sometimes I feel that my outfits / outfit posts are lacking a common thread, although even though I don't see what that common thread is, others might, I don't know. 

    Perhaps it would be easier to define our style character / come up with a style moniker if we chose 5 or 6 outfits that made us happiest, that we felt told the story of who we are style-wise. Then it wouldn't be like we were trying to define or name something based on everything in our closets.

  • Janet replied 7 years ago

    I think that taking outfit photos and looking at a collection of favorites can really help. The collection of visuals can help uncover patterns and themes.

    I took another look at the pics I posted on Angie's recent "favorites of 2016" thread, and found it very helpful.

  • Suz replied 7 years ago

    Janet, I agree. It's helpful to look for the commonalities. Karie, I'm going back to look at yours again, but I would say that one thing you and I share (besides our J. Crew heavy wardrobes, ha!) is a penchant for current trouser silhouettes/ denim. What you make of that is anyone's guess but your style is current and modern, even though I know you also adore retro touches and "modern" wouldn't be part of your style descriptor, necessarily. 

  • LaPed replied 7 years ago

    aziraphale -- poetic indeed: "There is a crack in everything / That's how the light gets in." :)

    two thumbs up to this thread!

  • Angie replied 7 years ago

    Suz, thanks for the compliments. I feel most undeserving of them.

    I like hearing the fun that you're having here coming up with your style monikers. That's almost the point - as well as it being quite helpful. 

  • Isabel replied 7 years ago

    "Guerilla pixie" ! ROFL . I love it. And I love this little corner of the web called YLF.

  • Bonnie replied 7 years ago

    I'm really enjoying reading this thread on style monikers. The discussions that examine what are they for and how they are formed have been enlightening. I think they are important to those of us who are enthusiastic shoppers drawn to wild cards. Unless we have room for a gigantic wardrobe, we need guidelines. I chose two styles, arty and  tomboy, to help guide my purchases. They describe two of the many styles that appeal to me. When I remember them, they help narrow choices. For the same reason, I chose a color palette. I love all color, but owning them all would complicate dressing.

  • UmmLila (Lisa) replied 7 years ago

    Anyone who likes the Guerrilla Pixie idea should read Night of Cake and Puppets by Laini Taylor.

  • aly replied 7 years ago

    Lovely discussion for a new year :)

    Just a couple of thoughts that may or may not be appropriate:
    1. I wonder if it is worth refocusing on the "aspirational" side of style statements/monikers/rubics etc? In other words, using a moniker as a guide for where/who you aspire to be rather than feeling that it necessary to "live up to" a moniker? It might be more helpful and fun to ask "would I like to be radiant" and not worry to much about answering the loaded question "am I radiant"? :)

    2. While a couple of words or concepts works well for some of us (btw, I really like the idea), I wonder if others may find an image/poem/character etc more useful?

  • Jaime replied 7 years ago

    Well I am late to this party but it certainly has been a great read. I don't think we can separate our style persona, either descriptive of now, or aspirational, from our character. Our taste, our sense of our place in the world, the degree of our conformity or rebellion, our self perception and so on are all reflected in our public persona - labelled or not. Isn't our way of speaking, walking and interacting part of our character? Dressing is the human form of moving through the world. The spoken language of our body (so to speak ;) ).

    Suz, having had the pleasure of meeting you, I would change relaxed to open. What struck me is how open you are both to people and ideas. No one could miss the strong intelligence processing everything but your insatiable curiosity and your openness to learning struck me as an essential part of your character. I think this openness is also a key part to your ability to express yourself so beautifully both poetically and sartorially! Radiant openness?

    (As for me, I am in a bit of a state of flux. A story for another time.)

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