WIW: To and after the memorial service

Today we went to a memorial service for a colleague of my husband's. The weather is disgusting -- 12 degrees (brrrrr!) and pouring rain. And oh -- guess what your over-eager editor did a few weeks ago? That's right, she "retired" her one and only LBD. True, it was looking old and exhausted. True, the fit had never been very good to begin with. (It was a donation from a friend, not a purchase.) But but but...who knew there'd be a memorial to go to this week? 

It was a sad and sudden death. DH is feeling very blue. :(  

I hope the outfit I wore was sober and serious enough not to offend. First outing of the Trouvé blazer. 

When I got home I immediately went for colour and some added warmth. The scarf is the famous MaryK "magic" scarf. You may not see it here but in addition to orange, it even has tomato red in the mix! 

This poor scarf is torn, wrinkled, ravelled, and has definitely seen better days. But I can't give it up because it is just so useful! 

I didn't actually wear #4, but will when it gets even colder here. :) 

ETA: If Tanya feels like an errant student for being one day late with her ensemble, imagine how much trouble I'm going to get into for submitting a full two weeks after the date! ;) 

This post is also published in the youlookfab forum. You can read and reply to it in either place. All replies will appear in both places.


  • Joy replied 6 years ago

    Your memorial service outfit looks subdued for the occasion. Since it was you husband's colleague, your DH is probably reminded of his own mortality.
    If you think you are late with Angie's ensembles, just wait. I'll bet many of us are waiting for the weather to get cool enough to try them out. I know I am. There will be even later entries ;)

  • JAileen replied 6 years ago

    I think you look very nice. I went to a memorial service a week ago for a friend who was not only younger than me, but died suddenly and unexpectedly. I had given away my funeral dress because it didn't fit so I was in a quandry. Anyway, I wore nice pants, a white linen blouse which I ironed, and sandals. It was warm, and I think I showed respect by dressing nice for her and her family, which included one child not yet out of high school (a very tragic situation).

  • replied 6 years ago

    That looks very sober and appropriate. Would you have really wanted to wear black on black on black? Really? I'll bet if you still had said LBD, you still would have preferred this ensemble. Give DH my condolences. Sad day. :(

    You look beautiful in color Suz, I can see why you wanted to change into this outfit with your cozy new sweater when you got home. Especially with that weather. You look warm and fab! Is it really that cold already? Brrrr! 

  • Tanya replied 6 years ago

    I am very sorry to hear about your husband's collegue Suz.  I think you looked perfectly appropriate for the sad occasion. The Trouve blazer looks wonderful on you!
    I really adore the colors in the second, happy outfit.  I am in love with that cardigan and after seeing how wodnerful it looks on both you and Parsley I am really tempted by it.

  • replied 6 years ago

    Was going to refer to this as a series of looks, but that's not quite right.  Your memorial service ensemble is perfect- respectful and weather appropriate. Sorry to hear it is so lousy in ON :(  

    Your jeans and sweater outfit is so lovely - I really love that pink sweater on you every time I see it - and with that cardi?  Wow!!  And not sure what makes the scarf a magic scarf - but it sounds like you should get another one!  Love the cranberry suede boots too - great touch.  

  • cheryle (Dianthus) replied 6 years ago

    Your memorial outfit looks perfectly respectful.  The "rules" have relaxed so much in the last decade that you were probably one of the best dressed even in a conservative education community.

    I love that pink on you too.  Did you twist the scarf to keep it from just hanging?  I need scarf lessons.

  • N-Marie replied 6 years ago

    You look lovely and totally appropriate for a memorial service. I'm sorry for you and your husband. I'm glad you were albe to turn around and add a little bit of cheer with some bright colors.

  • viva replied 6 years ago

    I am so saddened by the news of DH's colleague. Someone my DH knew from school recently died suddenly. I fear we have reached the age of sudden deaths. It's very unsettling -- my thoughts are with you and Mr. Suz.

    Your memorial service outfit is perfect, and your brighter, cheerier jeans outfit is lovely. That scarf is amazing -- I love how it pulls those disparate colors together.

  • Eliza replied 6 years ago

    Sorry for the loss of your husband's colleague, Suz.

    Your outfit is beautiful on you and certainly appropriate..

    The at home casual look is amazing. Those colors love you and the combination is stunning.

  • Emily replied 6 years ago

    Your memorial outfit is lovely and appropriate.  Are you wearing socks with your booties?  It would have been a great outfit with just the sheer hose and booties, but the extra texture looks really cool and modern.

  • Angie replied 6 years ago

    Hard day for you and hubs. Hugs, and my condolences, darling Suz. Your outfit was brilliant and perfectly chic, elegant and respectful. 

    I love #4. WOW. I adore how the old booties work with the new cardi. You own that killer colour combination, girlfriend. xo

  • Suz replied 6 years ago

    Thank you all so much for your kind words. Mr. Suz and I had a nice supper together and reminisced about his colleague. He is feeling sad but supported, and we both noted that the family seemed really pleased about how the service went. The colleague's former students said some incredibly lovely things about him, and what was even nicer was that I was pretty sure that many of these people had conveyed their feelings to him in life as well, so that it wasn't just an "after the fact" celebration even though his death was sudden. 

    Ever think about that? How infrequently we celebrate one another truly in life? That is why Angie's birthday messages are so special. 

    Emily, thank you. Those are the Zara booties from last year with the neoprene "sockette." Angie and Shevia also have them. I really had no choice apart from booties or boots today -- the puddles were deep!! 

    Thanks, Eliza. This berry is one of my favourite colours. 

    Viva, you are so right. We have reached that age, alas. 

    Thank you, N. Marie! 

    Dianthus, I have trouble with scarves, too. This one I just sort of fling around my neck and then loop without tying a knot. And hitch the other part over my shoulder, LOL. It's sort of hard to explain, but the main thing is, it covers my cold neck. 

    Lisa, I think Mary refers to it as a "magic" scarf because it magically "goes" with almost every colour and neutral. It really is shocking. She was my Secret Santa my first year on YLF and sent it to me!! To be honest, when I first opened the package, I thought: How will I ever wear this? This scarf is full of warm colours and I wear cool colours!! 

    Well....DUH. As usual, Ms. Mary was brilliant. It's been a total wardrobe workhorse since day 1. 

    Tanya, this cardigan would look great on you. I got it at the sale and took my "normal" J. Crew size. It is quite oversized but in a good way. 

    Claire, you are right -- black on black would have been too much and this was just fine. The family does not stand on ceremony anyway and I think what mattered to them was seeing people come out to the service. And truly, it IS that cold here -- all of a sudden!! (It was 30 less than a week ago!!!) 

    JAileen, I am sorry for your loss, and your outfit sounds perfect for the occasion. It's amazing how it throws one into a tizzy, though, isn't it? I thought I was prepared...until I realized I wasn't...quite...

    Joy, that is exactly it. This colleage was a bit older than DH but not "old" and he was also (apparently) in extremely good health and very fit. It just goes to show you that we should treasure every day with our loved ones. 

  • Firecracker replied 6 years ago

    You did very well with your memorial outfit. It is stylish and appropriate. No need to mourn the LBD, too.
    Your pink and red outfits are so fab. I love them both!

  • jackiec replied 6 years ago

    Oh Suz I am so sorry about the loss of your DH's colleague. Please accept my condolences.

    Your memorial service outfit looks 100%++ appropriate for the occasion. Too bad you passed on your LBD, but this outfit looks probably even better.

    I literally gasped when I saw #4. What a great rendition of Angie's ensemble formula!

    Great point on letting people know how we feel about them now, so they can feel appreciated and validated now. We've been dealing with some recent cancer diagnoses & heart issues in our family/close circle of friends, and this is great advice and rings so true.

    Off to hug my kiddos ;)

  • Janet replied 6 years ago

    I am so sorry for the loss of your husband's colleague. I've gone to a memorial for a close colleague of my husband after a very sad and sudden death, so I know how it can knock you all for a loop. Big hugs to you all.

    You look perfectly appropriate for the occasion. And I love your shades of red and pink outfit! 

  • Karie replied 6 years ago

    Suz, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's colleague. I'm sending a big virtual hug to you. Every day is a gift and we need to celebrate life while we are living it, and pause each day to make someone else's life a little bit brighter.

    You totally rock those J.Crew sweaters  - I'll bet DH felt better just seeing you in those gorgeous colors :)

  • Beth Ann replied 6 years ago

    We are never prepared for these sudden losses.  So sorry your DH has had to go through this, but I'm glad you were there for him!

    I actually prefer sober, but not head to toe black looks at funerals.  To me, conservative styling and attention to polish and grooming is respectful, without being morose.  I think you find that balance here.

    As for your home ensemble --- pink and red have such fabulous energy together!  I often feel they need a piece to bridge them together -- and your serves that purpose beautifully!

  • shevia replied 6 years ago

    Sorry about Mr. Suz's colleague. Sudden death is so hard to process. Your outfit looks perfectly respectable, and flipping to your colorful outfits reminded me of that magic moment in the Wizard of Oz. Love the red booties!

  • Lyn D. replied 6 years ago

    That is sad! A reminder to live life to the full while we are fit and able.

    The coat you wore is really fab- is it ink or black?
    Of course I love the pink and wine colours on you Suz- #4 is terrific :)

  • Suz replied 6 years ago

    Thank you all so much. I am really happy for the children that they felt their dad was properly honoured. 

    Lyn, isn't that coat amazing? It is a Theory trench and a gift from bj1111!  I wear it constantly. It is just the right weight/ drape. I really like your question because I never know the answer. Technically, it is "black." But to my eye, it reads almost as ink. And for that reason, it is magically more flattering on me than any other black coat I have owned. 

    Shevia, you made me laugh with the Wizard of Oz reference. So true.

    Karie, you are my J. Crew sister in crime. :)

    Janet, thank you for the commiserations. 

    Beth Ann, I feel that if you approve, it must be okay.  :) You have been through this many times as observer, helper, family member, and wife of the minister. 

    Jackie, so sorry to hear you have been dealing with cancer in your circle. 

    Sharan, you made me laugh out loud with the comment about mourning the LBD!! 

  • Lyn D. replied 6 years ago

    Wow Suz- such a generous gift- I assumed you had hunted it down and found the perfect one that way. So true that a hint of blue can make all the difference to flattering our skin tone :)

  • Suz replied 6 years ago

    It was incredibly generous!! The cut wasn't quite right for her so she offered to pass it along and I jumped! And yes...you understand about the blue.  :)

  • Alana in Canada replied 6 years ago

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your husband's colleague. 

    You look so stylish and appropriate for the service and after. The cranberry, re and orange ensemble is just amazing on you. 

  • Sharon replied 6 years ago

    Sorry for your loss, Suz. Your outfit was perfectly appropriate. I do much prefer the happy outfit with that gorgeous pink top - it is a fabulous colour for you, and I like the way you have mixed it with the dark red.

  • Neel replied 6 years ago

    My condolences to you and your pot hubs suz. You couldn't have offended anyone in that outfit. I think it is perfect. The pink, with dark red and orange is perfection too :). Nice boots!

  • Day Vies replied 6 years ago

    I think you look appropriately sober yet stylish. I think it's better to wear a dress that's mostly black that fits well than an all black dress that fits poorly. BTW I love the fit of the coat.

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