Pix-Elated

81 Comments

• Jaime replied 7 years ago

  I don't know. I am attached to second hand shopping not only for the thrill of the hunt (which I do enjoy immensely) but also for the chance to buy higher end items without the sticker shock. If I was very clear sighted about my style I could put all the money I spend on shoes in one place and buy one very expensive pair of shoes retail, but how would I decide? So maybe part of the hesitation to invest is not being sure the investment is The Thing. Which just brings me back to your suggestion to start with something you know you will need and use.

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  I think you have a fabulous style, Jaime, and you do get very high end items at consignment! Plus, you enjoy variety and can get it this way. 

  I was thinking perhaps of my own (sad) consignment options...if I shop via consignment here in Kingston I am unable to buy anything high end at all because our consignment shop carries mainly GAP. 

  You're in a different situation, I think. But it makes me realize that a person can find great and even modern items at consignment, assuming the right shops.  

• replied 7 years ago

  Shevia - I very much identify with which is "the thing". After the fact, I know and would pay much more for that in retrospect. Where I am challenged is knowing ahead of time.

  I am committed to moving things along that don't work or don't make me feel good. And that can happen at all price points and across all categories. But I don't want it leading to an endless in and out either. Sometimes something that should be the one is not, and a thoughtless purchase can turn into a workhorse.

• Gaylene replied 7 years ago

  For me, the key is FIT and FLATTERY.

  Trends come and go, as do "essentials", especially if my style shifts. But an item that fits perfectly, and flatters my shape and coloring , always becomes a workhorse.

• Jenn replied 7 years ago

  Many months ago, I posted an article by someone who'd decided to not buy any clothing items under $100. I don't know if I can find it again, but the idea was that raising the minimum price point for purchases forced the buyer to purchase mindfully. I was, and still am, enamored of this idea. 

  I don't have anything particularly high end in my closet either. This is for a number of reasons:

  • I have different spending priorities.
  • Many of the higher end items I like don't come in my size, and I get impatient with the difficulty of the hunt.
  • I am hard on clothes.
  • I have a mental block at certain price points.
  • I don't trust my ability to discern quality at the point of purchase.

  Some of these are better reasons than others, especially given that I really would like a smaller, higher-quality wardrobe, and my number one clothing priority is to acquire pieces that fit perfectly, drape well, and suit my personal style.

  After two seasons of buying many pieces, I finally have my essentials covered, so my plan right now is to slowly upgrade from here on out. We'll see how that goes.

• paperlust replied 7 years ago

  I have always had the budget mindset, and it's a hard one to break. Now that we have a little more income, I've found that I like spending more money on things I know I'll wear a lot. However, there are some pieces I spent more than I usually would, only to find out that it wasn't really a good fit for me or wasn't as high of quality as I thought. That's made me a little gun shy when it's come to my purchases lately. I feel like I need someone trusted to tell me: You will love this brand, it will last forever, you won't regret spending the money on it...

• Runcarla replied 7 years ago

  Thanks Suz!  You hit the nail on the head with your opening salvo.  I did spend my late teens and most of my 20's as a student AND living on minimum wage. Married young and DH still in school.  By the time we both started careers, we also had kids and a mortgage.  I only discovered the fun of fashion when I hit my 40's, but by then penny pinching was ingrained!

  I DO feel that my penny pinching ways are a detriment, or at least a barrier to upping my style quotient and will be following this thread and taking notes.   

• Eliza replied 7 years ago

  I am a person who has an antipathy for paying full price (as so many things go on sale), with a budget that would allow for it. If I was splurging, it was on shoes and bags, items with longevity and high impact on style, and comfort (footwear). When I joined YLF, ready for the task of establishing a new wardrobe post weight loss, I tended to splurge on dressier items. Statement pieces for special times. Oops. I was a work part-time, mostly from home, person in academia. I loved my nights out, but was bored and uninspired by my daily wear casual pieces.

  Now, I think about things differently. Still like things on sale, but focus more on the big picture and proceed with greater confidence. I have a mental list of what I wear most each season for my routine. I wear lots of sweaters in our cold winters, need layering pieces year round, prefer more solids and occasional prints, like looser tops in hot weather, etc. I am accumulating nicer pieces of the type I wear most often; some are casual statement pieces, which I have learned is not an oxymoron. Looking put together and having an easy time of doing so is important to me. Being deliberate over time about purchases works better than having an upcoming trip and running around desperate to find the right things. Having too many options (aided and abetted by "good buys" or lower prices) did not work for me. Too much to store, organize and sort through. My closet tied my hands. Now I want fewer, more sure fire quality options.  Angie's wisdom taught me not to hesitate on what matters to me and really catches my eye, as fashion items do disappear. I also focus on items that can make an outfit: great winter coats, vests, shoes, bags and tops play well with many price points of pants, for example. I like to have a couple of great pairs of black, white and ink pants, denim that makes me happy and tops that work across casual days. 

  This is a great topic, Suz. Thanks for posing the question. So many factors go into how we spend by category. Mothers are used to tending others first, also. Great to mature into self-care and deciding what matters. You have finely honed your wonderful style and have a way with your wardrobe. May you enjoy your fashion exploits! 

• replied 7 years ago

  There's nothing in my closet that's high end. I have recently broken through the mindset of buying everything on sale. I still try to buy on sale, but I think more in terms of color, fit, flattery, and versatility.

• Angie replied 7 years ago

  Suz, a few points, FWIW:

  I have MANY clients who will only shop budget and mid-range price points - and they look sensational. These clients generally also love to get stuff on sale. Sometimes it's a mindset thing, and sometimes it's a practical budget thing. Owning high-end items makes no difference to them - so why should they indulge? There is ZERO need to purchase high-end designer items - and you don't have to change this mind-set. Let me be crystal clear about that first! 

  Personally - because I'm a fashion professional, and because I was a fashion buyer in-particular - I appreciate and am passionate about all levels of product and want to support them. In fact, my entire life is high-low: travel, decor, nutrition, entertainment, exercise - so it makes sense that my wardrobe is too. Fit, design, comfort and luxurious fabric aside, I LOVE the special feeling of having a high-end item because I could not afford them 20 years ago. I feel privileged to be able to afford them now and am that much more appreciative. Owning and wearing high-end items DOES make a difference to me - so I indulge. But those items have to be tempered by low-end items because it keeps my head and heart in a happy balanced place.

  And I have never thought that I do not deserve anything! 

• Style Fan replied 7 years ago

  I am not sure what is considered high end but for me I find high end lasts longer.  In the end it works out better for me.  I also buy at other price points. 
  I am not sure how to break through that mind set.  I don't have that problem.  I could use some of it.  I am practicing restraint these days. 

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Thanks for chiming in, everybody. 

  BC, it makes sense to think in terms of fit; Gaylene also mentioned that as key. I do think great fit makes even the lowest-end item look higher priced than it is and I also think you sometimes have to pay a bit more for great fit -- either at point of purchase or via alterations. 

  Eliza, thank you so much for the generous comments. I agree so much that mothers often spend on the kids first. I am pretty sure that was my example. My mother loved clothes as a young woman, but as a child of the Great Depression she was very poor and she learned frugality. Even when she did acquire more money she spent on the kids and not herself. 

  I really identify with everything you said, especially this: "Still like things on sale, but focus more on the big picture and proceed with greater confidence. I have a mental list of what I wear most each season for my routine."

  
  

  Me, too, Carla -- student and minimum wage worker for a long time, and then paying student debts, and then shouldering a mortgage and caring for various relatives. So it's tough to break out of the mindset. I wonder what makes it easier for you to spend on yourself for gear? Have you ever tried to unpack that? 
  
  paperlust, I've discovered that paying attention to Angie's recommendations for people with my body type and lifestyle can be incredibly helpful!! 

  Jenn, that is so interesting. I identify with your need to get your wardrobe into working shape before refining -- that was totally my approach as well. You might like Gaylene's idea of buying only 12 items a year (or whatever number). It's similar to the "only $100 or over" idea in that it forces reflection. 

  delurked, I find if I pay attention to my actual needs it is easier to locate "the thing" -- it's usually something that I will wear for a dominant capsule. 

  
  

• replied 7 years ago

  I really wish I had this "problem", and I'm sure my DH does too. My issues are quite the opposite for some reason - and I feel quite like I deserve to buy the best I can afford right now because it may be the last nice thing I can afford .   I've analyzed this endlessly over the years and think it has to do with a fear of it all going up in smoke one day - which kind of did happen when I was 19.  Never recovered from that feeling.

• viva replied 7 years ago

  This is really interesting. I shop and buy a fair amount (as you all know). The VAST majority of what I buy is from outlet stores or on deep discount - it's how I manage my desire to shop and keep up with trends (to some degree) and my love of new things / desire for change (to a large degree). It's not at all about not deserving the best. I think I am pretty darn self-indulgent, frankly, but I'd rather have four things than one big thing. And buying one big thing scares me because, well, it's often a lot more money to plunk down, it might mean passing by something else I see, and -- what if I don't like it next season?

  That said, lately because (1) I have been working really really hard, and (2) I have had much less time to shop, and (2) I have been feeling kind of generally crappy, I have purchased 3 items in the $200/+ range, which for me is VERY high for unplanned purchases. I'm not sure i will keep them all, but I pulled the trigger pretty quickly on them: a necklace (tags off, wearing). a pair of jeans (waiting for them), and a vacation dress (waiting for it). 

  If I keep all three I will have to turn down a few random purchases this summer to balance things out, and that it will be interesting to see how that works. If it does, perhaps it will mean a change in how I shop?

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Angie, Style Fan, so GLAD for you that you have not struggled with a sense of being undeserving or unworthy. You help to set a positive example to those like me who have struggled with that demon. 

  For me, the "I don't deserve this" feelings used to pop up even with low end purchases, so it wasn't necessarily a price point thing (although expense definitely played into it). Not to get into heavy self-analysis here, but these feelings are a core challenge in my life and I work hard to temper them. Participating in YLF is actually part of that. 

  I also agree, Angie, that it is possible to look 100% stylish and fantastic on a low end budget or a thrift store wardrobe. We have forum members who do so. Nobody needs to pay a lot to look great. I was talking about a different issue -- how can you learn to treat yourself to lovely things (at any price point) when your impulse is always to scrimp instead of spend. 

  ETA, for some reason I have no problem splurging on books or on food! 

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Lisa, I am sorry if this seems like an illusory issue. I didn't mean to make anyone feel badly. For me, it was a genuine learning curve and part of the reason I sought out this site. I had never bought anything at even a mid-range store like BR at full price until I came to YLF. 

  Vivian, you have such amazing style that I think you are doing something right!! 

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Also meant to add that I don't think that everyone who struggles to break out of a budget mindset is doing so because of feelings of being undeserving. That's just my particular issue. Although it is far less of an issue on the fashion front than it used to be, as evidenced by my closet full of very nice items at multiple price points! 

• replied 7 years ago

  Oh, no, not at all!  I was trying to be a bit sarcastic anyways .  How we spend money is all rooted in our pasts - which I keep reminding myself , "we" need to get over and get on with.  Like how long can one keep blaming the past ?  ( I am speaking to and for myself here) .  I happen to really love clothes, the whole business of it.  I appreciate and understand the value in a really well-made garment, and I also know what I want.....and it rarely appears on a sale rack. I like the new, the best, (relatively speaking) and I may also lack the imagination to look at pieces left over from other seasons or hanging in an op shop and know how to style them.  I know this sounds horrible snotty and privileged, but sale stuff always feels like leftovers - things rejected by other people.  I'm not talking about blanket store-wide 40% sales like BR loves to do, but rather those racks of single things marked down at the end of the season.  Also - my size is almost never hanging on a sale rack :)  

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Lisa, it's true -- it does take a lot of imagination and effort and skill to dress really stylishly on discount or thrift. It can be done, but when I joined YLF, I did not have that imagination and skill. 

  Interesting that you say: "I know what I want." You, and Viva, (among others on the forum) strike me as shoppers with a very carefully honed sense of style (before you even came to YLF, I mean) and this makes you able to buy confidently at whichever price point you choose (full price for you and discount for Viva). 

  As delurked and a few others have suggested, not knowing precisely what we want may be another reason some of us hold back from spending. 

  So maybe another part of the solution is really honing our style. And that takes time. 

• Peri replied 7 years ago

  I can so relate to this. I turn down a lot of things due to sticker shock when the reality is I don't need to. I may freak out over a silk top being over $200 and just not even consider it, and yet there is no reason for me to think like that. I have no problem dropping $200 on 3 or 4 things even if I like them less, so it isn't the budget, it's the concept.

  I think "buy less, buy better" can be a good idea but it's not like it's always a good idea. For one, buy less doesn't work if you need a lot. That silk top may be beautiful but if you are forced to wear it 3 times a week because you don't have other things, it won't stay beautiful for long. Sometimes you just need quantity and I've been there. Second, sometimes buying better fails to pan out. I was in awe at myself that I bought a Joie sweater my first year on here...my single most expensive clothing item at about $225. Well, major disappointment, that "better' pilled in record time. 

  But, as far as getting over it if you want to...like any good/bad habit...practice! After a few successes, buying more expensive things starts to lose it's shock. Being on YLF certainly has upped my spending...I don't mean in a bad, out of control way, that's just not me. But I start to see what other members are buying and I think "why not me". Again, not in a pouty, I deserve it way, just in a normalizing way. "Oh, so it's okay to pay that. It isn't insanely overpriced, it's a good value."

  I do see how that could be a big problem for some, under certain circumstances!

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Peri, that's very much the effect the forum has had on me as well. At first I simply didn't know it was "okay" to spend like that on clothes. Obviously the "like that" varies depending on income and other circumstances, and what's high end to me is probably medium to someone else (and  the reverse, too). But the point is, I didn't really even have a realistic idea of how people fit out a wardrobe each season until I joined the forum. Seeing how that works has helped me feel much more comfortable about doing a bit of shopping of my own. 

• Author Linda replied 7 years ago

  I learned a long time ago to buy higher end items in moderation. My budget was once much larger than it is now, but I still enjoy the fit, flattery, and function of some higher end clothes. What to do? I still try them on, if I like the style or fabric. Of course I try them on! And if I love something, and simply have to have it, I buy it. I no longer buy everything I like, far from that, but I do buy one or two such pieces a year--if I LOVE them. Sales are wonderful, but I'll pay full price if I must. My size tends to sell out quickly.

  One thing I've learned is I never regret a purchase that is perfect. I'm glad I spent the money, especially when those pieces last for years. The cost per wear of some of my St. John knits is less than a dollar and one pencil skirt is approaching 1 cent. Yes, it's twenty years old, and still looks good.

  Now having said that, I also find I can get just as much pleasure out of buying something that's not the least bit expensive. This summer it was BR linen tees on sale, and some inexpensive sandals that my feet simply adore. If it fits like a dream and I LOVE it, then it's just as perfect. So my shopping plan is to try on everything that calls to me, in search of those perfect items. In the process, and out of respect for my budget, I now have a smaller wardrobe, but it's a practical one with lots of variety. I simply love all my clothes! Oh, and I definitely pay attention to Angie's picks for my body type, and the recommendations of members here on YLF to help streamline my shopping process.

  For many years I stressed about dressing. Was I stylish enough? Classy enough? Casual enough? Doing the right things or sending the right message. Now I've reached the age where I can just dress to please myself. High end, low end...it all leads to the same place. My style. My look.

• Maneera replied 7 years ago

  Suz, I know how you feel.

  I'm going to have to agree with Lisa...at least in my case. My father was the single earning member of our family. We were reasonably well-off, but my father is just frugal by nature. I think it was his own upbringing that set his mindset. We were not allowed splurges. Not because we couldn't afford them, but because they weren't 'necessary'. My parents ensured we had everything, but never excess. We had to wear out things before we replaced them, and I think that was hard on both me & my sister, because the kind of social circle we lived in was not the same. I vowed as a kid that I'll grow up and never 'want' for things. I'll buy whatever I wanted...and I still feel that way today.

  I wanted excess. As luck would have it, when I had my own money, I could only afford more if I bought cheap things. At that time, I didn't have a large budget either.....new job, husband in college, and then a mortgage and just settling into our lifestyle. But even when our disposable income grew, I continued to choose quantity over quality. I think I was shopping for that young girl who wanted more dresses and shoes that were her own and she didn't have to share with her sister.

  Soon it became a mentality. I would always buy at cheap to mid price points. I would reason, why spend xxx on a pair of shoes when you can buy one for xx; let's instead buy 3 pairs!

  Strangely, it was my husband who broke this pattern for me. He's the opposite of me ---- he buys seldom but only buys expensive. He's happy to wear the same things over & over as long as they are 'classy'. I would buy 20 things and he would buy just 1 thing and he'd still have spent more money than me. And he never ever goes to the mall during sales.

  He started to gift me more expensive things slowly. At first, it was a watch. Then a bag. Then shoes. A phone....and so on. In no way was he trying to change me, he was just buying me things according to his own tastes, since he could now afford it. We do not shop together because we have very different shopping strategies and tastes.

  In time I realised that no matter how pretty my outfit was, it was one of his gifts that would get compliments when I went out. People would notice that watch, or bag, or shoes and compliment it. It made sense too....people tend to notice more 'expensive' things. There is a reason designer things are expensive ---- it's all about brand value.

  I also started to get fed up of my constantly growing wardrobe. I'm going to be brutally honest here even though it's not easy - I like to spend money. I like to indulge myself and I love to shop. It makes me feel privileged and I love that feeling when I walk out of a store with a shopping bag in hand. But spending is not always equal to value or even high happiness factor.

  I saw his wardrobe was so perfect. He has only a handful of things but he's always impeccably dressed. I have shit loads of things and my dressing was all over the place. That was when I joined YLF and now I do have a personal style. It's easier for me to shop now, since I am no longer 'experimenting' with 1000 things. Since I don't shop as much now, I decided to challenge myself and buy more expensive. To see if I *felt* a difference.

  I bought a very expensive bag for myself to start it off. At equivalent to $300 in Indian currency, the bag was very expensive for me. But it just made me feel so so so good everytime I used it. I felt indulged and spoilt and I loved that feeling. So I did it again & again until I broke the 'mentality' that I'm not worth expensive things. These were the only shopping trips my husband accompanied me on, as I don't think I would've given my credit card for the bill had he not been there!!

  My wardrobe really is a mix of high-low now. I bought a $10 sweater recently that I totally love! And it's more in control too. Once I buy something expensive, I have no shopping urges for a while. When I buy cheap things, I can go on a spree and eventually end up spending the same amount of money.

• JAileen replied 7 years ago

  I could spend whatever I want on anything, but some of you may have noticed that I'm very practical. My husband is near retirement age, and theoretically any money we spend delays his retirement. In my mind, I think, is this worth it to make my husband work longer? So I try to be responsible. I've always been of the mindset that getting good quality is worth it, and that I'm worth it, too. But still, I hate wasting money.

• Vildy replied 7 years ago

  Lisap wrote: "
  sale stuff always feels like leftovers - things rejected by other
  people. I'm not talking about blanket store-wide 40% sales like BR
  loves to do, but rather those racks of single things marked down at the
  end of the season.

  "

  Interesting for me to read! I'm the exact opposite. I am most interested in  the collection of utterly rejected items because I'm convinced that's where I'll find the best selection of items for me.  I immodestly feel that I have the better insight than they do.  ahahaha

  I mostly thrift and one of the senior volunteers questioned how I could leave something to decide about another week. Wasn't I afraid it would be gone? Nope. Told her I doubted any of the regular shoppers would want the same things I want. Meaning that I know their tastes. We're a hard core group who've been shopping there for maybe a decade or more. We regularly pick things off the racks and thrust it at each other, "Here, this is your brand/style." But also, I'm the only one who can sew to the point of remaking something to suit my vision of it. So they're restricted to garments as is or with no more than a hem or a narrowing at a seam line. So the possibilities are always greater for me.

  Now, if I couldn't sew, I'd have a mighty lean wardrobe. Practically everything that I buy has to be shortened at pants and sleeve length,
  even if I didn't want another thing done to it.

• Astrid replied 7 years ago

  My mum is (was) exactly in this situation. We talked about being body positive - my mum always gets criticised by my grandma. I am too, but my mum took very good care that my sister and me could always see these comments for what they were. Anyway, my mum just always put everything before looks and clothes. She's an awesome person, really intelligent, made a career. She's been the sole breadwinner for the family for most of my life. My dad started working part time when my youngest brother was in primary school, but my mum earns way more even now.

  She mostly bought in cheap department stores, cheap brands. If she bought something "nice" it meant a jeans was 50€ instead of 10€. She just didn't spend money on herself. Most expensive things she owns were presents from my dad. It has been getting better though, mostly because of my own changing interest in clothes and style. YLF helped me and indirectly helped my mum! Because we went shopping together or she saw me looking nice in my clothes. So I got her to spend more on a few occasions and helped her pick some pieces. I'm now the daughter with the high end taste who knows what looks good. :D And guess what, she then realized that - you know, this new xyz is really niece, I'm wearing it all the time. Who would have thought. ;)

  By the way, I always let her pick. I only make suggestion how to tweak things. My mum is no fashionista and she doesn't need to be, but it makes me really happy to see her spending more on herself lately.

  ETA
  Just wanted to clarify that my mum doesn't have negative body image, at all. It seems more like she realised early on that all efforts pleasing my grandma were wasted and the energy could be put to better use elsewhere.

• Vildy replied 7 years ago

  You know, a lot of thrifted clothes would be otherwise expensive and I don't feel different about them. They don't "do" anything special for me. But I did have that kind of experience with a lipstick. I'm a lifelong lipstick wearer. My friend handed me a lipstick in the thrift store. They rarely have any cosmetics. It was a color I wear and was more expensive than I would normally buy. It was only Estee Lauder but, as I say, I already had that color at a cheaper price. Except. When I wore it, I did feel different.  I told myself I liked the texture a bit better. But I think it was the feeling that it was expensive (for me).

  I found I used it whenever I wanted extra confidence, even though I"m not an unconfident person. It started to wear down and I decided I would go ahead and buy a new one at full price. Of course, it was discontinued. But I found a selection on ebay. The first one I ordered didn't seem right to me and I returned it. I realized that the scent was not as strong. Oddly, that mattered, even though it was a fruit scent and I usually avoid fruit scent in everything. So I did get a replacement on ebay and consequently wore the original one more frequently. But  I'm fickle and I find I don't care anything about it anymore and it's just another lipstick I have.

• Angie replied 7 years ago

  Suz, when my Mum died unexpectedly in 12 weeks - my philosophy about spending and saving changed. I was happier to spend more and save less. I put travel into that category too. I want to see as much of the world as possible before I die - which means spending money instead of saving it. In an extreme case - if I died tomorrow - I can say that my wardrobe whims were fulfilled, and I have seen a lot of the world already. 

• Maneera replied 7 years ago

  Oh wow.....Angie put into words what I could not. I echo her feelings. I am happy to save less too. It's a mindset....really. I like to live everyday knowing that if it were my last day, I'd have no regrets.

  My one mantra in life is - "A good life is not measured by how many years you live, but how much you live in those years."

• Maneera replied 7 years ago

  Surprisingly, none of my high-end items are essentials. Somehow, because we tend to use our essentials over & over, I get sick of seeing them and want to be able to upgrade more often. I prefer to buy good quality, good fit, but not necessarily expensive.

  I tend to spend more money on the 'stars'. A fabulously luxurious wool coat (which are not common here, as our winter isn't all that extreme or long), or really luxe looking boots, or sandals that look really pretty but will always make me feel fab even if I don't wear often, or a bag. I also have spent more than expected on tops that reallyyyy flatter but I will not wear all the time.....so basically - slightly special items.

• Vix replied 7 years ago

  Hi Suz --

  Great thread and interesting responses! I think I could echo something from everyone (or just about).

  I've always had bad habit of wanting to possess things I find beautiful, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the item's cost. Luckily this hasn't turned me into an art thief or shoplifter....

  However, after breaking through the budget mindset thing -- just left with the guilt, ha -- it opened new areas for mindfulness.

  I just posted a thread about my experiments with trying on a lot of higher-end dresses (and having my mom and a friend do the same). Even thought the results shouldn't have surprised me, they did.

• JAileen replied 7 years ago

  Alright, grasshoppers, ant speaking here: I volunteer at a food pantry for low income seniors. These are people who didn't or couldn't save for retirement. It was an eye opener for me. My takeaway from it - must save more!

• Astrid replied 7 years ago

  Jaileen, to me that goes without saying. Being responsible when it comes to your life and finances and making sensible decisions. I was assuming we were talking about what do do with the money that is left to spend. Which does mean having a larger income than many people to start with, I guess.

• replied 7 years ago

  Suz -- I haven't had time to read all the posts, but your thread spoke to me.  I am guilty of this behavior and would very much like to re-adjust my thinking.  I'm not sure I know how to do that though. 

  JAileen's comment is duly noted. 

• replied 7 years ago

  I was "working poor" after separation.

  I've loosened the purse strings in the last couple of years but I think there is something healthy about living frugally. I still line dry all my clothes to save money and don't pay for data on my cell phone. I still get $35 haircuts and don't want to spend more than $100 for jeans (although I've reduced it).

  I feel I deserve nice things but they're really not THAT important and if I can buy the same thing for cheap, then I'll do it.

  I say all this and yet I've upped my budget to $300 for clothes /month so I'm not suffering that much ;)

  Also, big ticket items, that are above $300 I find VERY hard to spend on. There is a psychological ceiling there.

  Now, I'm going back to read the replies :)

• Jenn replied 7 years ago

  To be clear, my desire to change my mindset on this doesn't involve spending more money than I currently do on clothes. Where I'm at right now, not needing quantity or doing a huge overhaul, it's about learning how to spend the same amount on fewer, higher-quality pieces.

• replied 7 years ago

  I have to mention that when you have foot problems like I do, buying good shoes is a must. My SIL bought a pair of athletic shoes while we were visiting her. We walked all over the place, and before long, her feet were killing her. She mentioned to me that she paid $80 for those shoes, and that they were expensive. I was thinking to myself that $80 doesn't generally give me shoes that are walk-all-over-town comfortable. Only if $80 is the sale price. I didn't say anything to her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but her DH makes really good $ as an engineer and they only have one child. She could splurge on better shoes if she wanted to. My MIL was frugal when it came to clothing (not with food, lol, but definitely with clothing), so I think I know where she gets it. Her sister is the same way. In my humble opinion, my fussy feet need to be appeased or I'm miserable.

• Staysfit replied 7 years ago

  I will weigh in to say that it is much more difficult to switch from spending a lot on high end to sticking to a budget and only purchasing low end items, or very few high end items. I have made a half dozen high end purchases since joining YLF. Most of my purchases have been what I would call between mid range and high end. Fewer of my purchases are mid to low end.

  I commented on previous threads that I could never keep up that level of spending. I intentionally planned and budgeted before undertaking my wardrobe overhaul. I included enough for all my purchases. However, my attraction to high end items continues. I found designers and expensive brands that are cut and sized well for my body type. I still want to purchase these items in the future! So, I have to do what Angie recommends. A mix of some high and some low end items.

  I have become very strict about sticking to a budget. I do not want to end up like the seniors JAileen describes. I have other goals and priorities as Suz suggests.

• replied 7 years ago

  The seniors comment left me a bit sad - and worried - it's something my own mother warned me about all the time.  I'm in an interesting place now age-wise, where although I really love beautiful clothes, I feel the future/next phase of my life  (including retirement - although it's a good 10 years away likely) looming closer than ever.  How many more winter coats , purses, jewellery, watches etc am I really going to use before that stuff becomes  unnecessary in my life?    I don't need to prove myself to my customers and co-workers in the same way anymore ( I used to feel it necessary to be as well dressed as possible at work to set myself apart from others - which is totally stupid, but there you have it) and having the newest and best stuff is starting to be less important. I'm all about fewer pieces and the best I can possibly afford.  The places where sale prices mean the most to me are at retailers where prices are normally not in my comfort zone.  Then - sales are fun!  Today in fact, I'm wearing a BCBG top that has to be 5 years old that was probably a $300 top but on sale at the end of the season. It is one of my favourite pieces ever. Wearing it with loose,soft and baggy , sale-priced GAP khakis:)  

  Sorry - I'm getting off topic here.  

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Thanks for all these fascinating perspectives. Really interesting to see how we differ or overlap. 

  I'll be back a bit later to respond. 

• replied 7 years ago

  My mother liked the clearance racks as much as anyone I know (she also went to a lot of garage sales), and I learned a lot about sale shopping from her. Still, she told me there's no economy in buying cheap stuff (cheap meaning poorly made). She would splurge on the things that mattered, and that's what I do. I like to think that the $ I save when I find really good stuff on sale can be used on the things I have to splurge on. It all balances out, in my opinion. And believe you me, my DH has our entire family on a budget. It's not like I can spend like there's no tomorrow.

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Author Linda, I agree that when the item is wonderful for you, you rarely feel regrets about it, whatever the cost. In fact, the low end items often look a lot more expensive on the right person.

  Maneera, I understand your feelings, too. In my 20s I had very little and wanted so much. Sometimes my mother would take me shopping and buy me a few things, and I would just hope that she would keep buying me more and more…I really enjoyed the indulgence that otherwise wasn’t available. What you said about spending on the “stars” though — I think this is a really interesting point and goes to a distinction I’ve been mulling in my head. I will save that for another thread!

  JAileen, your husband is lucky to be in a relationship with someone who cares about his needs and your future together. 

  Vildy, I have a feeling you probably do rescue those “unwanted” items and put them to creative use. The story about the lipstick is interesting. Sometimes it is our associations to an item that matter. But I think lipstick is a great example because it has a distinct texture. The more expensive ones probably do feel better.

  Astrid, how lovely that you’ve had such an effect on your mother, opening her up to the pleasure of nice clothing.

  Angie, that makes complete sense. Of course! It must have been devastating for you to see your mother go so very quickly. And naturally it would increase your desire to live for today! 

  I need to correct a possible misunderstanding, though. I may have made myself sound like much more of a saver than I am. I'm not really at all tightfisted by nature. 

  It is just that for most of my life I’ve had very little money for clothing. I tended to spend what I had on education, books, travel, food, and especially our house — which was our really big expense. It is only in the last few years that I had enough left over after that to buy what amounts to a middle-class wardrobe. And I found that after years of self-denial in that area, this was more difficult at first than I would have expected!

  Vix, I’ll go off to read your thread — fascinated to hear.

  JAileen, yes, I was raised to be mindful of this, too. My parents were both savers.

  Sterling, I think it is a question of balance. Some on YLF come from a background of having scrimped on ourselves a bit (or a lot) and some have the opposite pattern, and probably all of us need to meet in the middle!

  Smittie, I agree that it is important to know how to be frugal. Some of my family members lack this trait and it has made the rest of us suffer.

  Jenn, yes — that was Gaylene’s idea, too, although she wasn’t keeping an exact budget. The idea was simply — spend the budget you have, but on fewer items.

  BC — you absolutely should baby your feet!

  Staysfit, that’s a really great way to approach it. Keep a budget and select what you can of the higher end things without going over.

  Lisa, what you said about dressing for your professional life made another lightbulb go off for me. Not only was I unable to do that (because I had no income for it) but also — it didn’t matter! I mean, in the various kinds of work I was doing there was no need to impress anyone. (Teaching, mostly, and editing, and then working from home). So there was less “justification” for spending on myself, or rather, it was harder to justify it to myself as a need. Interesting….

• crazyone replied 7 years ago

  To JAileen's point, I was thinking earlier that the converse of "buy the things you love today, because there might never be a tomorrow" is that you can end up being retired for much longer than you anticipate and hence may need a LOT more money.  Many women who retire at 65 might to live to 90, 95--so that's 30 ish years of living on savings.  It seems like most current retirement calculators don't really take that into account.  

  That said, I don't really live my life that way (though I do save the max I can for retirement)--I do think spending on experiences and things in the moment is important.  My parents are way too frugal, in my opinion--my mom even reuses torn hair ties (that have lost their elasticity) by knotting the ends, my dad refuses to spend more than like $10-20 on pants, etc., but the flip side is they have a lot of money saved up and were able to fund my college education completely and also are in a pretty good place retirement wise.  So who am I to change their lifestyle? That said, the hair-tie thing is ridiculous, and I was relieved to find my mom had finally bought new ones last time I was at home.  

  It was hard for me to spend more than $50 on an individual item up until a few years ago, because of my upbringing and also being on a student income.  But that's changed for me now, and while I don't usually buy super high end stuff, I am much more comfortable dropping $100-200 on an individual item now.  I find it awkward nowadays to go shopping with my parents because they think of $60 or $80 as a lot whereas I think of that as a reasonable price for a quality item.  

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  C1, I totally know that feeling!! Shopping with my mum and dad was often a very funny experience for my brother and me! But you are right -- you can hardly complain when it has left them secure. 

• jenanded replied 7 years ago

  I am late in here but will pick up on Angie's point. When our Mardi died it was interesting how many memories are related to her joy of 'being dressed for an adventure' whether it was a festival, a ball, the beach, a job interview etc. They are also the most personal things so help construct the image of the person and how they interact with the world. I would never deny anyone that joy and the memories of their joy in the world. That is not about $.

• L'Abeille replied 7 years ago

  Fascinating conversation, thanks for starting it Suz!

  I am one who shops mainly thrift and low-end or sales. I have often wondered if I ought to be spending more on a few good pieces (as numerous websites tell me I should) but I have come to the conclusion that I wouldn't be happier that way. It's not that I couldn't afford it; my husband shops like Manny's husband does, only the best and infrequently. But for me... one part is the thrill of the hunt, along with what Vildy says about getting joy from using my imagination to incorporate pieces into outfits not like everyone else's.

  The other thing is, that I enjoy my clothes more if I don't have to coddle them. I want to be able to wear them in the garden, or at work where I might get other people's bodily fluids on them at times. I cook in my clothes (sometimes with an apron) and I regularly dribble tea on myself. And I sometimes sleep in them. And I refuse to take super extra care in the laundry; or rather, those items that require it will be washed rarely and thus worn rarely. The few "investment"ish pieces I own (Brooks Brothers shirt) rarely get worn for this reason.

  Along with that, I am a bit of a snob about high end. In my experience, pieces that cost more have rarely been of a higher quality commensurate with the higher price. I think if I wanted to go that route, I would have a seamstress or tailor make them for me. For a lot of designer stuff, I suspect they don't make my size anyway (I'm looking at you, Smythe). I will find out more if I try the Canadian version of Rent the Runway for a MOB dress...

• Angie replied 7 years ago

  Suz, YES. Don't worry. I never made that assumption. And I sound like I spend and don't save - when we both save and spend sensibly. Like we both have a budget and stick to it.

  FWIW, you have earned to spend more on yourself. Do it! 

• Bonnie replied 7 years ago

  I just read your article and it really resonated with me. I haven't read any of the comments yet, but just wanted to thank you for expressing what I've gone through, too, so articulately. I'll read the comments later because this is something I need help with.

• Janet replied 7 years ago

  Interesting discussion. Thanks for bringing this up, Suz.

  I grew up in a middle class family that was careful with money, and my parents taught me to manage money well. But mom also loved to shop, and I learned from that as well. ;-)

  I was a big discount shopper for most of my life. For a long time, mainly due to my own limited income, I could not justify spending more than, say, $75 for a pair of shoes. I only started to shop higher end after I met my husband and he started making decent money. I gradually started looking at stores and designers I had previously avoided, and my tolerance for higher price tags increased.

  After I got really interested in upping my style game and found YLF, I splurged on a few high-end items. Some were huge successes, others not so much (those have been sold). But now I've sort of seen how the other half lives. ;-)

  My husband and I are now entering our 50s and are making changes in our life, and budget and priorities are changing. We want to travel more, and to have a very healthy retirement plan. So I don't envision making many more high-end purchases like Rockstuds. Those will be much fewer and further between. In short, I'm being more selective and price- and value-conscious.

  So in a way, I've already made the adjustment you describe, and now I'm backing off from that and cutting back again.

  In the last few days, I realized that I need another workout top or two, and I found great ones today at the Rack and TJMaxx for a fraction of what it would have cost to buy new tops full-price from Athleta or Lulu or one of those retailers. Tops are easy, and the bargain choices will serve me well. However, one of my favorite pairs of cycling shorts gave up the ghost (they were ripped in my crash last year, and I had them mended, but that only bought me six more months of use). Those are an item I am less likely to compromise on because they are trickier to fit, and the chamois (padding) is significantly different from one pair to the next. So I'll probably shell out full price for a new pair of those. It's all about priorities.

• unfrumped replied 7 years ago

  I don't have ( local) access to a lot of REALLY high- end retailers in B& M and its a lot of effort to imagine/ buy. Ship/ return online purchases from new ( to me) brands and stores, so to some extent I just don't find myself lusting in person over specific items that are fab but super-pricey. Exception is I will order shoes when retuns are free, and have branched out there with some good finds.
  What I think has been the the biggest change for me is to consider full price/ buy-now at medium retailers by looking at ALL of their items and not honing in just on sales.

  I still get ticked when the price falls a month later but I'm learning which items are so right that that feeling fades. Of course I can't just swoop in and buy armloads of stuff at any price!

  But to really eyeball lots of choices and consider OPTIONS for what looks great or matches something I have or was a HEWI and get something that really makes an outfit work or takes care of an occasion.....This has given me more of a sense of control over style, color palette, cohesiveness and wearing the items in the current season.

  I still want to be even more selective, though, and run a smaller wardrobe while using the above " full price tolerance" to make me focus on the item's value in the wardrobe and not just what the price is today.

• BrieN replied 7 years ago

  I think I started to "break through the budget mindset" as I read something that Angie posted -- a while ago or I'd reference it word for word (so apologies if I mis-quote) -- but Angie wrote something along the lines of:  I shop early in the season and am sometimes so pleased with the purchase that I wear it out of the store.   And that's become a litmus test for me. Am I so excited by something that I have that feeling that I'd want to wear it right this minute  Not did I get x% off on it or was it a great deal or anything else like I used to do, but do I need it enough and love it enough that I would be happy to cut off the tags and not look back. 

  Now in practice I don't cut off the tags until I am safely at home and looking at my own mirror, just to be doubly sure. But it's that feeling I'm after. 

• Deborah replied 7 years ago

  I relate strongly to what Angie shared.

   When I first started working and earning money I had very little discernment (or common sense lol) and I would buy very expensive clothing, bags etc.  I was paying board to my parents and living at home and did not save any money!!  But.. I had an awesome wardrobe.    I got married in my late 20's to a man who is very good at managing our finances and of course I (we) then had other and additional financial commitments which changed the way I shopped.   In my 20's and 30's I wanted a lot of variety. I was still exploring and finding my way and I did tend to purchase a lot of clothing and would seek out the best price so I probably bought most things on sale and wasn't as fussy about quality and fit.   Then in my 40's I started to close in on what I feel is my 'core' style and things changed again.  I started to appreciate quality and fit, I also no longer wanted multiple wardrobes full of clothing, I wanted less but wanted better. I seemed to have developed the necessary discernment to start making better choices on my purchases.  YLF has actually helped greatly to get to this point btw.  A few years back I bought my first expensive pair of shoes in quite a long time.  I saved and stalked and bought them months after first finding them and got them at a good price but still expensive (for me and my budget).  And I still love and still wear those shoes.  For those who have had a baby, you often decide you want a child, you then do what's required to make that happen :) and then you plan, prepare etc for 9 months and then your beloved baby arrives. Now of course babies are so much more special than shoe... but .... I wanted the shoes, I planned and prepared (i.e. saved and sought the price I could pay) and then they arrived, and I love them and still wear them and still enjoy them... I invested in them. To be honest, the times when I have had money to 'throw around' I haven't made the best choices and haven't had the same connection with the items as with those I have had to wait for.

  I have never thought I wasn't worth spending on, for me it was and probably still is, about stretching the budget as far as it can go:)  This year I have bough three items from Temt (a local teen store) for $19, $24 and $29 and the quality has been exceptional and I feel like I am wearing something special.  But I also have bought a jacket and coat from Motto for $150 and $200 that make me feel the same.  For my birthday (I often earmark higher end items for special occasions 'cough cough') my boys gave me a handbag I had been wanting for ages.  But at $595.00 I couldn't justify it in our budget, but when it was reduced to $200 that was workable.
  And I don't anticipate any further handbag purchases until maybe my next Birthday ;)

  I don't care if something has a label or not, because as has been mentioned, expensive does not mean quality, I want clothing that fits well, flatters and feels beautiful to wear and that comes at many different price points.  I appreciate that we have all been brought up with certain attitudes towards spending, and spending on ourselves, but for me it's most strongly about what works for my budget. I also have a personal guideline of not spending a lot of money on trend items because they don't have longevity in my closet (they are often one season wonders) but I will spend on more 'classic for me' items that I wear for years.

  Suz hope I haven't gone off on too much of a tangent.  I think it comes down to personal priorities and budget management.  For each of us it's different and like our actual style journey our spending habits can evolve too.  

• crazyone replied 7 years ago

  a tip for those of you who are frustrated by prices dropping after you buy something: many Mastercards offers Price Protection, depending on the card it can either be up to 3 months or 6 months of price protection.  It does take about 5-10 minutes of work online to find the original receipt, the ad/website with the new price, etc., but if it's a big price drop it's worth it.  I've done it once--I purposely bought a dress from Madewell full price because I was worried my size would sell out. A month or so later it dropped in price substantially, so I applied for the price protection and got a check in the mail for the difference a few weeks later.  I recently switched credit cards and was disappointed to find my Visa doesn't offer price protection.

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Deborah, I really like what you say in your last paragraph about evolution because that is just what I am hoping for many of us! 

  I think some come to YLF with overstuffed wardrobes and too many things (I mean for their own comfort) or maybe even shopping addictions -- and YLF can help teach discernment and greater selectivity. 

  And others come to YLF without really knowing their own taste and or having no skill at shopping or no history of buying things --- and YLF can help balance this issue also. 

  BrieN, that's a great reminder about buying what you want to wear out of the store! I do think it's a great litmus test for higher end spending however we define that. 

  UF, it's similar to the "full price tolerance" test, I guess. Good point. 

  Janet, it makes sense you might scale back a bit now that your wardrobe is in such great shape, and also makes sense that you will spend on important gear to keep yourself active. 

  Bonnie, glad if it helps! The comments are interesting. 

  Angie-- :) :) :)   Just for you, I think I'll do a little shopping! :) 

  L'Abeille, it sounds as if having workable clothing is a huge priority, so the price is really relevant in the sense that if it goes too high, you would feel too precious in the item and hence constrained. 

  Jenanded, your post brought tears to my eyes. Yes, the memories of our loved ones include their physicality and what they wore, of course. Maybe buying and wearing lovely clothes can be considered a gift to my own daughter in a way -- letting her make picture memories. 

• Runcarla replied 7 years ago

  Though I've been in Fabland more than 2 years, I had no idea there were so many budget fashionistas! The ever stylish TransconaSharon and Ms Mary did post pieces from Sears, Winners, and Target - but except for the thrifters (who can ever forget ClearlyClair and her white Celine jacket!) finds seemed to be at higher price points than what I've been comfortable with. I always felt a little apologetic posting my Marks Work Warehouse jeans, Reitman's T's, Sears skirts, and Canadian Tire belts. :-D

  Maybe I wasn't looking close enough?

  I am over the 'I'm not worthy' c&#*p -otherwise I would not be riding around on a bicycle that costs the same as a good used car. And Suz, I don't know why I can unclench my fists when it comes to gear, but not for clothes. I DO have vivid memories of my first sports purchases though! My parents (artistic and academic types) could NOT understand the $30 tag for new fangled runners my coach was bringing in, when regular $12 sneaks would do. With baby sitting money, and birthday money from the grandparents, I got a pair of these strange new Nike Waffle Trainers.

  Though I am at home in Lulu, Runner's World, Bushtaka and Duke's Bicycle Shop, my favourite running bras came from K'mart (I don't know what I'll do when they need to be replaced).

  I think I need to do what Vix did, and pay a visit to Holts and try some things on. LOL! I hire a decorator for advice, and a coach, personal trainer, and music teacher. Maybe I need a personal shopper?

• replied 7 years ago

  My parents were frugal, as they both lived through The Great Depression and WW II, and were forced to save. The habits they developed stood them in good stead after retirement. Each of them had prolonged illnesses that went on for years and zapped their savings. My mom passed 2 years after my dad, and the $ didn't run out until 2 months before my mom's death. That's pretty good when you consider that my mom never worked, my dad had his roofing/insulation business + a few rental homes, and they had 6 children. They weren't rich by any means, but my dad made enough $ to prevent them from qualifying for Medicaid benefits such as Meals on Wheels. My dad never paid for health insurance, and just relied on Medicare. It's amazing they did as well as they did.

• Brooklyn replied 7 years ago

  An interesting discussion, and I identify with a lot of what has been said, especially Viva's comments. I definitely have a frugal mindset and, like others, that is partly about upbringing, first world guilt and retirement planning and also an awareness that I have a strong desire for variety. I also wanted to add that the budget mindset has a seasonal aspect for me too. For some reason spending a bit more on a jacket or boots (for winter) makes more sense to me from a value point of view than spending more on a flimsy summer top or dress (even if it is silk). It just seems like I am getting more actual product or craftsmanship (sorry, could not think of a gender neutral way to describe it) in the former items. In both cases I will seek out value for $ but in the former case my budget ceiling will be higher. But from a climate point of view, this does not make sense for me. I will get much more wear out of the summer item (assuming I choose well). I was very taken with Caro's comment in her post that for summer she needs items that are good enough to stand alone. I think I might need to adjust my mindset this summer (at least a little) and try to buy fewer but better.

• Vix replied 7 years ago

  Those disconnects about where we go high and where we go low are kind of fun and what make us human.

  [May I also say that I've never met an extreme saver -- and I include my former self -- who didn't have at least one outlet for what I'd term excessive/unnecessary spending? I'm sure they're out there, but....]

  Runcarla -- your bicycle comment made me laugh. When people say I should upgrade my crap but dependable car or hire a housecleaner I say I'd rather use the "for wants vs needs" money for travel, clothes, etc. And yes, go try on fancier stuff. For anyone who loves a bargain, there's something soooo satisfying about turning up one's nose at an expensive item. Though I hope you find a few things to temp you -- I have no doubt you'll get your cost per wear down.

• replied 7 years ago

  What bothers me the most is the price of swimsuits. It's not like there's much fabric, lol.

• Windchime replied 7 years ago

  When I started reading YLF almost three years ago--and started setting aside MUCH more for clothing purchases--I was hyper focused on prices and what I was spending. That extreme awareness has (fortunately) relaxed a lot. In the past year, I've bought a few items that were around $150. For this former Goodwill shopper, that is quite a shift, and feels like high-end shopping. But I've given myself permission to buy what I like, as long as it's within my budget and I wear it. And I love feeling great in these more-expensive items. Which isn't to say I haven't also bought plenty of lower-end items in which I also feel great.

  I spent a silly amount of time last fall looking at (for me) more expensive handbags, with the intention of purchasing one I loved. I found a few I loved but couldn't bring myself to buy any of them...yet. Maybe in another year or so, when the rest of my wardrobe is in even better shape.

• Shelly replied 7 years ago

  So many thoughts and so much to say!

  I think we all have different priorities, budgets and different needs and wants. I also know that having lots of money to spend on clothes does not equate to being stylish at all. And I am happy to have the right thing to wear, to look well put together and feel good rather than spend a lot without the desired end result.

  I have a small budget and I do like nice clothes but I have been trying very hard to buy the best I can afford and that means shopping on sale.  One of my local stores is having a 50% off the sale price and I found a pair of tailored cream jeans in my size. Just want I wanted and I will be able to wear them for years. I do buy clothes and my husband can't understand why someone needs so many shoes but you know, I don't drink much, I don't smoke or gamble. I do work hard and we live a simple life but I like to look as nice as I can and feel good about myself however much I spend on my clothes.

• kerlyn replied 7 years ago

  Looking through my closet, there are no high-end items.  Probably not even any moderate items!  I'm a budget shopper through and through.  I love to scour clearance rack and stack coupons on top of sales prices.   I d on't think I've ever felt that I didn't deserve nicer things.  I just truly enjoy the hunt and the challenge.  And lately I've felt pretty content with my closet.  What's funny is, I can't even think of any high-end item I crave.  I've always been happy to find a cute affordable bag at Target or a pretty summer dress at Kohl's.  

• Brooklyn replied 7 years ago

  BC, ha ha, yes! I so agree about swimsuits! WHY are they so expensive?

• Runs With Scissors replied 7 years ago

  I've enjoyed reading the many perspectives here, and I agree with lisap that we are likely influenced by our environment and the attitudes of those around us.  

  For myself, I am not ready to focus on a few expensive, best-quality pieces.   I did the frugal childhood thing, the college on $4K a year thing (including tuition!), and then the 10-years-of-grad-school thing, so I guess the novelty of being able to have a lot of stuff hasn't worn off yet.  I think it will eventually.  But for now, I'd rather by two or three middle-of-the road things (so I can have a variety of colors, usually!  I love color!) than one fancy-pants thing.  Which I would worry about ruining and never wear, probably.

  When I do spend more, it's on purses (rare purchases, typically used a long time) and shoes (where I most appreciate the craftsmanship that becomes available at a higher price point).

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  It takes a lot of crafty work to get those suits to cover the important bits! And they know they have us..I mean, if you need one, you need it, right? 

  Kerlyn, I think if you are happy with your closet that is the main thing! 

  Shelly, that is so wise and true -- having lots of money to spend on clothes does not equate to true style. 

  Windchime, maybe we can start a "bag challenged" club. I keep thinking I will spring for a more expensive bag (not an "IT" bag, just a really nice bag) but I can't bring myself to do it! I did get a Le Pliage at NAS last year and definitely used it, but that is the closest I have come. 

  Brooklyn, it's interesting that you find it hard to pay as much for clothes that fit your dominant season. I think a lot of people feel this way about summer clothing for some reason -- maybe because we do go through it a bit quicker due to perspiration, etc? I wonder. 

• JAileen replied 7 years ago

  Runs with Scissors, your comment made me laugh out loud! Thanks!

• Sal replied 7 years ago

  Interesting discussion here...I relate to what many of you have said.

  Our upbringing and childhood is such a strong influence - it can go both ways - I know adults who only buy the best because they feel they missed out as a child, and who love designer labels and expensive cars.  Others stick with a frugal approach.  My Mum and my MIL are both frugal as a result of their upbringing, yet their sisters are not....so some personality traits come to play.

  I am happy to experiment with low end at the thrift store- I don't mind making a mistake here.  But I dislike making mistakes with new clothes - it seems so wasteful.  And I don't trust my eye as well in a cheaper retailer - I see some of the gorgeous pieces Deborah gets at a low price - but I get put off entering the store, or if I do, I become overwhelmed and miss the gems.

• replied 7 years ago

  Suz . I am flying to Toronto and taking you bag shopping . I'll be there for a week at the beginning of August . Meet me at Holts on Bloor and hand me your credit card :)

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Runs with Scissors, I think shoes are a great place to splurge a little because they do get a lot of wear as a rule and happy feet are worth a lot!! 

  Vix, I had a similar reaction to Carla's confession -- which makes me think it does come down to priorities in the end, and maybe when one's priorities begin to shift (in any direction) there will be a bit of a learning curve. 

  As for budget fashionistas, Carla, I think they are here and not here, if you know what I mean. Perhaps there are only a few here who shop exclusively at budget stores like K-mart. But I think there are a LOT of people who shop hi-low, in Angie's sense, so who have a pair of pants from Reitmans and a bag from Danier and a top from BR and maybe a relatively expensive coat. I'm in that group myself  -- most of my stuff is mid-range, but much of it was bought on sale; I'll always have a few really inexpensive items (like those Canadian Tire belts -- yup!), and a few items are higher end -- not super expensive designer, but from a "better line" like Reiss or Elie Tahari. 

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  Lisa, you're on. :) Except I am keeping my credit card on a leash, if that is okay.  :)

  Sally, that's a really great point about it going either way -- we can become like our environment or react against it. 

• replied 7 years ago

  My husband bought a belt at Canadian Tire while there to get some part or another for his car . He is quite pleased with himself .

• Runcarla replied 7 years ago

  Lisa! The belt referred to is white - LOL! Real leather, and I think $10. A few us did the lemming thing...

• Greyscale replied 7 years ago

  I totally know what you mean!

  My WIWs are full of designer pieces but they almost all cost me less than if I bought the same item at full price from the Gap. I'm pretty happy with my current balance but it took a while to get here.

  In grad school (20s) I was on a very tight budget. I only shopped at thrift stores. I was still refining my style and I was happier with used, nicer brands than disposable new clothes. Nicer at the time just meant Banana Republic or such.

  As a postdoc, I was barely making more money, but I found higher end consignment things or deep discounts from nice stores. Around 2010 I got a lot more into fashion. When I showed up at YLF in 2013, I had started collecting much nicer things, but still always at a huge discount.

  For a while I shifted to buying too much, but I still don't buy many things full price. I think I've honed my closet to a nice mix now and I'm being a lot more cautious about what I accumulate from consignment stores.

  I'm not sure I'll ever let go of the hunt, waiting for something to drop in price before I'm willing to buy it. It's fun. But sometimes I realize I should identify what I need and what will be worth the money and just go for it!

• Anna replied 7 years ago

  I had to learn that sometimes one good piece is worth a multitude of less expensive pieces. I tend to spend more on fall/winter clothing and less on warm weather pieces. I have a reall problem spending more than $200 for a pair of shoes(more for boots). I have, but I almost had to force myself. And all footwear has to be leather except for tennis shoes. I can't wear higher heels due to several foot surgeries but if I could I would then I would splurge. I have been buying from a lot of different stores lately, but I tend to stick to Ann Taylor, J Crew and BR for work wear. I think a lot of it is wear you live. I live in Michigan and I have always worked for tech companies. Even the women with the really high up positions wear the same. I can recognize the really high end stuff but I just don't hang in the circles that wear it. That said, I love a bargain but my rule is would I wear it even if I had to pay full price? If the answer is yes, I buy it. I just got an amazing pale blue work dress that was $149 For $25.43. It fits perfectly and I love it so I would have paid full price. Getting on sale is just a bonus. At this point in my life I am experimenting with my style and don't want to buy really expensive pieces until I "get it" I have many, many, many coats and that has become my signature. I tend to spend more on them. I also spend more on my haircuts, hair color, hair products and don't get me started on skin products. I have some crazy expensive serums and creams. And like Angie, I mix high and low end. As she has taught us, style isn't a price. Wow, this was a really fun, Interesting topic.

• Lucy replied 7 years ago

  Wow, what an interesting threat Suz! 
  I have quite a good income, but we decided to do a few other things e.g. we have a place by the coast and we do go on other holidays reasonably regularly. So I have a reasonable clothes budget but not excessive. 
  I tend to invest in watches, spectacles, shoes and coats (not so much need for them since we moved though!). Some of these I will have for many years too. Also swimmers and make-up, I tend to go higher end. 

  Most other things, I don't like to spend overly large amounts on. I love quite a few mid range brands such as Metalicus, but rarely buy it full price. Sometimes I will if I really love a piece, but most of the time, it's really just not "worth" it for me. I don't often buy really cheap clothes though,so I think it's all a balance. 

• kerlyn replied 7 years ago

  Suz, I hope my comment above didn't sound judgmental.  I really think everyone should buy whatever they love and their budget allows.  I have very few high end stores in my smallish town, so I simply haven't had the chance to fondle the lovely leather handbags or try on the designer jeans.  It's probably a good thing for my wallet!

  I've found that I really enjoy trying to recreate some of my favorite looks both here on YLF and other blogs, but on my budget and with somewhat limited shopping options.  It's a fun challenge.  

• Suz replied 7 years ago

  kerlyn, not judgemental at all and I did not experience it that way! On the contrary, I think it is a mark of creativity to be able to do what you describe.  I'm personally kind of allergic to "status" items (or those that call attention to themselves as such). I don't judge others for having them, but that kind of high end is definitely not a priority for me. 

  Nor am I saying that everyone should break through the budget mindset. Not at all. It's a great way to shop and some of the most stylish people on the forum do it!  :)

• rachylou replied 7 years ago

  So...I find it pretty hard right now to break thru the budget mindset. I did a walkabout last week, and I swear, from Ross to Nieman's, it was all the same swirly multi colour wrap dress. Maybe it was my attention blindness again, but I feel the field is flat.

• replied 7 years ago

  There's another way of looking at this. I spend $ on clothing & accessories because I like to look as good as possible. I am able to spend more $ on this because I cut back in other ways. I drive home for lunch every day and eat something like a salad, sandwich or whatever. My DH & I eat out once a week. I cook from scratch the rest of the time. In contrast, some of my coworkers eat out a lot - breakfast & lunch every weekday; possibly more. I know because they bring the food back to work to eat at their desks. They also attend a lot of football games, etc. while my DH & I are home bodies. Yes, we take one or two really nice vacations per year, but the $ saved from not going places all the time helps us afford to do that. I'm not criticizing the way they eat & live. I'm just saying that we all choose our priorities & spend accordingly. Someone might look at me & think I'm rich (people have actually done that), not knowing how my DH & I budget our $. People make assumptions that are not always based on reality.

• DonnaF replied 7 years ago

  I own no designer or even high end stuff but don't really crave such items either.  But I probably have more quantity, at least in the way of clothing and shoes, than I absolutely need.  It is a huge deal to me if I buy something full price than at a discount.  If I could be absolutely or at least 85% certain that an item would become a workhorse, then I would have no trouble spending more for it.  I live in a mild climate so I never wear big ticket items like boots and coats.  I have had more luck with cheapo footwear then more spendy (for me) footwear.  Go figure.

  But post-YLF, I think I have mostly put away my sales goggles.  Does that count?  I put tons of stuff that appeals to me in my Nordstom Wish List.  Then, I wait for it to get marked down.  Meanwhile, I ponder whether I really want/need it and how it fits in with the rest of my wardrobe.  And sometimes when it gets marked down, I pounce.  And other times I don't.  And mostly I return it because it isn't a 10.

  This means I don't go from store to store to shop the sales which can result in a lot of orphans, nor do I venture out with a particular list which can result in frustration.  I live in a large metro area so lots of bricks'n'mortar stores are available, but I don't think I'd ever hit them unless DD were in town or if there were a YLF meetup.

  In the event that DD ever gets married and has a wedding, I WILL hit the stores and would be willing to pay full price for the right dress.  Just not a designer one because I have NO dress up activities.

• replied 7 years ago

  Lol, DonnaF. I say "less to the dress" since wedding dresses only get worn once. Pay as little as possible to get something you love that's affordable. It.'a doable; just can take. a lot of shopping.